wonderment

Driving home this afternoon, I thought about the weekend. How I haven’t smiled so much in as long as I can remember. My friends surrounded me. New friends, old friends. The love was warm; radiant almost. The sun was hot, reflecting the love I felt. Almost as though the sun was shining for me.

I thought about all the posts I could write. About how I came up with better pickup lines than Good Housekeeping. How I met Blelvis. I thought about how boys are impossible to read, and how girls say they hate it, but really, it motivates them to try harder. Maybe I could talk about how I read a postcard in a Post Secret book that I could have written (someone has my secret). I could have written about my day at Great Falls staring at the rushing water whisking branches downstream. So many things, and then I checked my e-mail.

My cousin Rick has cancer.

Kidneys.

Chemo. Soon.

And all of a sudden my weekend of wonder is…. less wonder-filled.

Now, I can only think about how I bet he is still smiling, laughing, loving. How he is still doing card tricks and telling bad jokes. How he is still living his life to the fullest even in this dark moment… and how he would want nothing more for me than to do the same.

That is the true wonder, isn’t it?

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