Fairfax? Celebrated.

You know you’re at a fair in the DC Metro area when pre-concert banter involves the inefficiences of the federal government.

As the Cultural Contributor noted, much like the MVA DMV, no matter how upscale the town, the most unsavory folk seem to make their way out of the holes they live in to indulge in the cultural phenomenon that is the County Fair. I am making a huge assumption that “Celebrate Fairfax!” was tantamount to a county fair. There were county-fair-like things such as a Carnies, CORNDOGS NACHOS FRENCH FRIES BEER, Libertarians, and a Camel.

And B-List Artists rockin’ the main stage!

This year was Blues Traveller on Friday, “Old Skool Rap All Stars” featuring Ton-Loc, Naught by Nature, and Sugar Hill Gang Saturday, and then today’s big name: “Phil Vassar” — in quotes as until I saw him come on stage, I questioned his existence. It’s rare that someone gets “super star” status and me never having heard of him. I give him credit for eluding my cultural purview for so long.

The toothless and tattooed filled the Midway. The tube-topped teens wandered through the tents, milking every minute of their parent-free weekend, preparing to unfurl their tightly rolled shorts before returning to their pastel pink rooms filled with stuffed animals and Jo-Bro posters. The sunburned backs of the proud and ignorant blossomed as the days went on.

In a word: Awesome.

I indulged in every moment of my small-town fair in a big-town county, with my best friend by my side. We could not be more different, but she has, through the years, opened my eyes to the wonders of the quirks of local life.

I may be a Maryland girl at heart, but this weekend I celebrated my new home… in Virginia.

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