Women are Assholes, too
I watched I Heart Huckabees tonight. And now the hamster wheel in my head has slowed to a halt as the thoughts finally stop racing.
It was a bit of a mindfuck to say the least.
But the question that stayed with me was, “Do you believe in love?”
I was once questioned on my belief in God. “You don’t have to believe in God. He just exists.” Then I was questioned on my belief in gravity. “You don’t have to believe in gravity. You’re not floating away, are you?” Then I was questioned on my believe in love. “Of course you’ll fall in love. You’re just young.”
I’m not that young. I’m 27. And for 25.75 of those years I’ve been single, the 1.25 years that I could be considered not-single are a rough calculation of all the first dates, second dates, “few dates” guys that never panned out, and my one “long term relationship” that lasted 8 months.
So I’m talking to a friend tonight, and she, too says, “You’re young! Fuck around with men!”
But I’m not that kind of girl. Recently I’ve learned not to judge anyone who is that kind of girl, because really, it’s them, not me. But really, it’s not me.
Guys are assholes, 100%. They break us. They broke me. They broke the girl I was talking to.
We say, “If they’re assholes, why can’t we be assholes?” Here’s why: We are never assholes to the guys who are assholes to us. We’re assholes to the good guys. the ones who don’t deserve it. The ones who are easy targets — who take it.
And I’m far too self aware to be that girl.
I am not willing to kiss frogs while waiting for my prince. But then again, I may have kissed some princes and been too scared to open my eyes and see them for what they were. I have sabotaged every good thing that’s come my way. Fact.
So anyway, tonight, after watching the movie, that one question haunted me: Do I believe in love?
I must be the only girl who actually has a thing for nice guys. Be sweet and nice to me and you’ll conquer my heart. Doesn’t mean I haven’t dated assholes — they just acted nice at first to lure me in.
| Posted 5 months agoI think we all *want* to have a thing for nice guys. Someone explained to me once that when we’re little girls, we’re told that “if he pulls your pigtails, he likes you.” And therein lies the inception of our penchant for assholes. I’d love to fall in love with the nice guy. I’d love to fall in love at all…
| Posted 5 months agoYou do, I think. Just make sure you’re open to it when it’s time. You never know.
| Posted 5 months agoI can honestly say that I most likely thwart every good thing that comes along. I need to be more open. You’re 100% right.
| Posted 5 months agoI’m one of those girls. And it was because a guy broke me, cleanly broke me into pieces. But I still believe in love.
| Posted 5 months agoI admire you. I want to believe in love. But the one that broke me… he still crosses my mind every day. I don’t think I loved him, but I think I got so close with him that I wonder if I’ll ever see the top of mountain at all.
| Posted 5 months agoI will be the one to say it. Sure there are assholes out there, but not 100% of guys are. I know some awesome guys who are so not assholes and on their behalf, I say, “Give guys a chance” They will make mistakes, be boneheads and unintentionally hurt us – but keep in mind that one brain and two heads sure does complicate matters.
| Posted 5 months ago*sigh* Form over function. I do like that second head.
| Posted 5 months agoI saw this Carrie Underwood lyric in a magazine recently and it gave me a good laugh:
| Posted 5 months agoAnd I close my eyes
And I kiss that frog
Each time finding
The more boys I meet the more I love my dog
Truth in country music. Bless their hearts. I’m a beautiful wreck for sure.
| Posted 5 months agoAw, c’mon.
That whole bit about liking nice guys is nothing more than a cruel trick to get guys like me to act a certain way, which never gets the girl…
However, rather than try to become a PUA or a total a-hole, I have decided to be single forever. Since I refuse to use women, my dating is limited to casual dinner or drinks, nothing more than friendship, and I explain that up front. No kissing, no sex, just friends.
The dating scene is over; why do we pretend there is any chance for real relationships anymore. Best to just enjoy the intellectual company of interesting women and leave it at that.
I used to want to find a nice girl and give her everything I could. No takers, though. It’s okay. No one wants a really sincere guy unless he is a reformed alpha. That is the reality of the dating marketplace. There are only so many alphas to go around, of course.
What I eventually realized is that most women would prefer to remain single in hopes of catching an alpha male rather than settling for the alternative.
Hey, I don’t go where I am not wanted. But sometimes it gets old hearing women complain about the lack of decent men. We are everywhere, but we are not what you find attractive, which is fine. But please, please, stop adding insult to injury by essentially saying that you want a nice guy, it is just not true.
| Posted 4 months, 2 weeks ago