Average Jane

The Justice System at Work

Yesterday was a good day. I got to participate in the judicial process enumerated in the Constitution of the United States. I got to have my voice heard by a judge in a court of law.

I protested a parking ticket.

It was a long journey to my day in court. Sometime in the first or second week in January (I forgot to keep a copy of the ticket) I was given a citation for having an unregistered vehicle. I can see how the officer could have made such a mistake, as my tabs were expired, but I had registered my vehicle online and placed the receipt in my window as instructed on the website. (Note: I never buy things online. Why I decided to do this online is beyond me. I think it’s because my tabs *had* expired, and I needed a quick fix. (Note: MVA= never a quick fix)) Anyway, when the citatation was delivered to my windshield, I had already registered my vehicle, and henceforth the officer was WRONG.

I knew I had to protest. I was in the right afterall! So I did. I received my court date, waited the 2 months until my day in court arrived, and strutted myself down the courthouse looking as cute and professional as possible. I had discussed using the short skirt/no panties defense, but after some discussion, thought telling the truth would involve less shaving. I decided against heels and a skirt, but put on my most respectable non-suit outfit and hit the road.

There were 3 no-shows and 1 guy who didn’t speak English before me. The no English guy claimed to speak Italian, but clearly spoke Chinese. He had parked in a handicap parking space without handicap tags. Oh, except for the handicap license plate in the front window that didn’t belong to him or his car. He didn’t enter a plea, but he did make his position known. Finally, they told him and the cop to sit down, and ordered an interpreter. I wanted to stick around to hear the rest of the story, but I had no time to think about it as I was up next.

They called my name and I approached the stand. 30 seconds later, literally, I was leaving the court, ticket dismissed, panties in place. No court costs, no fees, no fines. I had beat the system! My hard earned $40 stayed securely in my pocket and I could rest assured knowing that the legal system had not let me down.

To thank my car for being such a good girl, I took her to the mechanic and got my ass handed to me to the tune of $702. She drives like a dream now, and she loves me for it. I also got a free car wash out of the deal, so on the day I netted (-$646).

I did treat myself to an amazing steak dinner. Granted, I had to make it, but it was yummy.

A day off of work, the experience of law, a tune up, a car wash, and a super supper. I am so damn domestic.


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  1. * Gavin says:

    A friend of mine very stupidly got caught drink-driving (that’s drunk driving on the other side of the pond). When he showed up at court he put on his best suit and tried to look smart and profiessional.

    When he was sentenced, the judge told him that since he was clearly an intelligent, professional person, that he’d have to make an example of him. The judge gave him the most severe punishment, which is a large fine and being banned from driving for two years.

    His solicitor told him that if he’d shown up dressed like a chav in T-shirt and trainers, the judge would probably have assumed that his crime was the result of a disadvantaged upbringing, and been lenient.

    So be warned when presenting yourself in front of authority!

    | Reply Posted 12 years ago
  2. * Lisa says:

    That’s brilliant! It’s all about ‘working the system’. Who knows, if he had shown up in “chav-wear” if the judge would have thought him disrespectful to the court and thrown him in jail. I guess not everyone can stick it to the man as brilliantly as I can. =)

    | Reply Posted 12 years ago

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