I live my life in pain. I have since I was a child. My feet for years were the cause of my discomfort, and really, when I say discomfort I mean agony. A sharp, hot pain that plagued me for years, now replaced with a dull numbing pain, constant in my everyday life. The solutions became the problems. Surgery causing more pain. Pain medicine making me sick. Foot pain turned to ankle pain after a failed reconstructive surgery. Foot pain turned to back pain caused by the very treatment meant to heal. Back pain plaguing me still today as I sit here at work, ride in the car, lay in bed, stand and make dinner.
When you look at me, do you see pain? Do you know that I suffer everyday? Do you know that when we are sitting and having coffee, my leg and back throb? That when we walk 3 blocks to the metro station that my feet are begging to stop? When we wander the Mall, or walk through a museum, I don’t ask to leave or sit because I care about you, but that every activity means I ache in silence. I don’t want to ruin it for you.
When I look at you I see a face, I see a person, a body, and if I know you well enough, a heart. But do I know what you’re hiding? Are you hiding pain?