Average Jane



As honest as a drunk can be

I don’t drunk post often, but tonight… well, here goes.

I don’t think people admit very often why they drink. Tonight I think I want to share why I am drunk. This post doesn’t require comments. It’s just… truth. (note: i don’t type this well drunk, i’ve actually rewritten this 5 times for accuracy)

1. I’m mad at my parents

2. I don’t feel desirable

3. I am lonely

4. I am overwhelmed at work

5. I want my life back

6. I dont’ know how to be what other people want

7. I don’t know why boys “just aren’t into me”

8. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders

9. I want to be everything to everyone and consistently fail

10. I am fully aware of the fact that there is no reason for me to try to be everything to everyone, no way I could ever be everything to everyone, and no proof that I would be happy should it actually ever occur.

The truth of the matter is, tonight was the first night that I consciously drank to forget. I consciously drank to be what I am not. I got drunk to be drunk. And I went home alone.

Anyway… that’s all.

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Comments

  1. * anon says:

    1. such is life, a lot of people are, this is ok
    2. you are so desirable, if only you knew this, and i am telling you this
    3. me too
    4. me too
    5. me too, but what exactly do u want back
    6. other people want you to be yourself, so be your self
    7. im pretty into u
    8. me too
    9. you cant be everything to everyone, but try to be everything to your self for starters and then go from there

    i know ethis wont help, but i truly wish it would. but if it helps your not the only one who feels this way

    it does help. i promise.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  2. * Carrie M says:

    I could go on and on and on b/c I have been exactly where you are, and I still feel many of these things either often or on occasion. But whenever they crop up, it’s miserable. And some of that stuff won’t ever really go away, but there are things to do/think/whatever to help alleviate it.

    Call me this weekend and we can get some coffee or something and talk. Or just call me anytime. You know that. Oh and one more thing – you are wonderful and beautiful. For reals.

    Thanks, Carrie. I think no matter how much it sucks to know that you’ve felt this way, it’s comforting to know someone else knows what I’m going through. I am happy… I am better now that I’ve ever been, but I hit a bump. The best thing about bumps in the road is that once you’ve hit it, you reach the smoother road on the other side.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  3. * Joey O. says:

    *hug*

    I’m not always good at coming up with the perfect advice, but I’m always good at listening and empathy…so essentially, I care about ya, friend, and your state of mind. And I’m here for you if you need me.

    you are and will always be my little Joey O: master of all useless knowledge, and one of the nicest guys i’ve ever met. thanks, babe.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  4. lone drinking’s not a good path to enter, certainly not one to follow. Don’t try and go arm wrestle a bottle, not without back up at least. I’m not saying you should not drink at all, that wouldn’t be exactly fair coming from a guy who still feels like he tried to stop a train with his forehead (both from the hangover and the cold I got by being out there not wearing much >__>, I was not that drunk), just don’t start using it as a “solution” to what bothers you.
    I suppose you totally know that, I just felt like err…saying it again, you know…

    OK, so I should probably have qualified this… I was not drinking alone, but rather with INowPronounceYou, Arjewtino, FreckledK, VK, The Princess, Baby Bien, and various other lovely characters. I needed to be around good people. I needed to release myself. I needed to drink. And I did. And it was good =)

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  5. * Roosh says:

    Heavy post!

    I identify with number 7

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  6. oh, uh, cool then ^^, I mean cooler than the seemingly totally uncool drinking thing I had first understood.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  7. * Becca says:

    Like PostSecret, you have no idea how many people on the Internet you will help by making them feel as though they are not the only one in the universe experiencing these feelings.

    So thanks. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  8. It happens to the best (or worst) of us. Sometimes you just need to tie one on, wallow a bit, and ask yourself some tough questions.

    You just met sober INPY, but he’s stickin’ around if/when you need a friend.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  9. * Jo says:

    I hate to break it to you, but sometimes 2 and 3 happens even when the opposite of 7 is happening. 8 and 9 I feel even when I’m sober. You just have to push on through those moments to get to the other side.

    You’re not alone. We have all either been there or are currently there. *Hugs*

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  10. * redhead says:

    You’re not alone in feeling this way. I’ve just hit a huge bump in the road. (I was so down I didn’t leave the house this weekend!!! The IRS thanks me.)

    It’s good that you went drinking with friends. And it seems like the comments above care about you! You check out PostSecret as someone else said. It makes you feel more normal. Want to feel even more sane? Check out DC’s Craiglist rant and raves. Freakshow!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  11. * Tasha says:

    Hey sweetie, I know how you feel. It’s a sucky place to be and it’s hard to get out of. At some point though you’re going to realize that it’s not about what or who everyone wants you to be, but about who you want to be and who you are to yourself. When you figure that out you’re also going to figure out who you’re real friends and family are. You’ll also be a lot happier with yourself and the world around you.

    Just be you, and realize who you are and screw everyone who doesn”t like it.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  12. * honeykbee says:

    So many “me too”s, so little advice to offer.

    This too, shall pass.

    Kb

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  13. * Laundro says:

    Hang in there… It’s hard to see the other side of the lawn sometimes… But you ARE on the greener side. You just don’t know it. But you will in time.

    PS. Did I mention how cool the babyrock records are? One more time, ok?

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago


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