Average Jane



Final Chapter

You can all breathe a sigh of  relief — my crush is over.

Blog friends, I tell you when I am right, and I feel like I should also tell you when I’m wrong.

I was wrong.

I should have gotten the signs that he wasn’t interested a lot sooner. Maybe saved myself some dignity.

But I didn’t.

Everyone said “go for it!” and I did. But after the first “yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but…” from him, I should have said “it’s not worth it.”

But I didn’t.

When he claimed to be “complicated” I should have run the other way… laughing.

But I didn’t.

It’s spring, and I’m in a springlike way. With pheromones exuding from everyone of his pores, I saw an opportunity and went for it. Why not, right? Eh. Maybe.

Anyway, utilizing my 3 strikes rule, he is now “out.” No one gets to humiliate me, and I’m feeling humiliated. I put myself out there. Way out there, and got shot down hard.

Thank you for all of your support during my momentary lapse of reason and judgment. For someone who doesn’t do anything without completely over thinking it, ensuring that I make ONLY the most rational of decisions, my body dictated these actions… a crime of passion.

Lesson learned.

Crush over.

I’m going to go back to being romantically and emotionally useless again.

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Comments

  1. * freckledk says:

    AJ – I’m seriously going to spank you. You are not useless in any way, shape or form. This is a young, YOUNG guy that we are talking about here. And, at such a tender age, he describes himself as “complicated?” Complicated is just a pretty word for fucked in the head. Don’t let his fuckupedness become contagious. Thank him internally for saving you from what would have been a huge waste of time and energy, and move on to the next.

    You’ve got to stop thinking that this is about you, Kiddo. It may seem as if he’s rejecting YOU, but he’s not. He’s rejecting himself, and you are better off for it.

    xoxo

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  2. * Becca says:

    You are most certainly not useless. The lesson, to my mind, is that taking a chance is always the right course of action. Even if the outcome isn’t what you want, it’s always worth it. Having things come out badly is never worse than wondering and not knowing, it only feels like that in hindsight.

    Besides, anything that leads to good blogging cannot be labeled as useless or a failure.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  3. * carrie m says:

    don’t EVER let me here you call yourself emotionally useless again. I know where you live. I’m so proud of you for actually going for it, even though it didn’t pay off. You know that I know how you feel, and it fucking sucks. But like K so eloquently puts it, you are better off for it. You can’t feel bad for taking a risk, and thank goodness you weren’t too emotionally involved right? You are awesome. AWESOME.

    Remember that idea I had about going out to that bar in R-town? I think we should do it when I get back. Just for kicks.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  4. * carrie m says:

    ACK. I can’t believe I wrote here instead of hear.

    Ashamed.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  5. * NoShowMo says:

    Useless? Not possible when you are actually willing to put yourself out there and risk getting shot down. That’s emotional stability, and courage, and . . . um . . . maturity? Which it seems was lacking on the party of the second part. And that’s not your fault, either.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  6. * LMNt says:

    You’re absolutely not useless, like everyone else said.

    But I totally know where you’re at on the three strikes, slightly embarrassed feeling. :-/

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  7. * gn says:

    “With pheromones exuding from every one of his pores…”

    Ah, spring. Don’t be so hard on yourself! I don’t know you very well, but I will echo the others’ judgments and agree that you are not useless. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  8. * Collateral Damage says:

    I’m going to go back to being romantically and emotionally useless again.

    Welcome back to the club. I’ve been here for years and years. I don’t know if that makes me particularly knowledgable (sp!) on the subject or just really lame.

    Oh well.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  9. * Genevieve says:

    Damnit! My secret is out. That’s me up there, btw. In the process of something very, very secret that I forgot to log out of. Damnit! x_x

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  10. * mm says:

    Gaaa. I do believe I was one of the people that told you to go for it. Sorry about that.

    Also, don’t get down on yourself. Just because things didn’t work out with this guy doesn’t mean you’re useless. There are more fish in the sea! Now go out there with a net.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  11. emotionally useless? Darlin’, the emtionally useless don’t do what you did, which is to put yourself out there in an honest way in an attempt to get what you want. That’s not useless, that’s BRAVE.

    I’m proud of you. Really.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  12. * Dan says:

    hey lisa–just wanted to let you know I linked to you on my blog 😀
    http://amitai.net/blog/links/
    cheers

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 2 months ago


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