Average Jane



Sanford and Sons – Tag, bitches. You’re it.

The challenge: Write your best Sanford and Sons theme song parody.

The players: These silly bitches who insisted on singing the damn song all friggen night. And YOU! Go on. Give it your best shot.

The prize: INPY. Yup. All of him. Please. Take him off our hands. =)

My entry:

I am Jew-Pac.
Heard that right, Jew-Pac Shakur.
I’m so ghetto.
Mansion’s only got one floor.

Can’t deny it.
I’m a thug in “Jappy” clothes.
Got a dew rag.
Gotta wipe schvitz off ‘dem hos.

Such a badass.
Packin’ heat is what I do.
In my pocket
Yummy brisket for my crew.

Is it “ghetto”
Bringing dinner to a game?
I say “hellz nah!”
Even if it’s crudite

Me and biggie
Thugs for life and that’s fo’ sure
Watch your back, y’all
Cause I’m the Jew-Pac Shakur.

Alright. Gauntlet has been throwed. And please, will someone please explain that whole Jew-Pac thing so I don’t have to? More incriminating photos, damn it.

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Comments

  1. * Jo says:

    This would be much funnier if I knew what the Sanfor and Sons theme song actually was.

    You really should just start COMING OUT WITH US!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  2. * carrie m says:

    Jo – Unless you listen to INPY, there are no words to the Sanford and Son theme song. And if you still don’t believe him? He’ll make them up and SING THEM ALL DAMN NIGHT.
    Jane, I might have snorted a little bit of latte out whilst reading this.
    Jew-Pac : Lisa had her ghetto hat cocked right. She was money last night in her Nats hat and completed the look with a wifebeater. And since she’s a member of the Tribe…we present you: Jew-Pac.
    GOD DAMMIT. Now the song is back in my head. I hate you all.

    You don’t hate us. You love us. Lots. And for all of your informations, I was totally money last night. And I saved money by bringing a turkey sandwich and veggies! Thrifty-Thug. It’s the latest brand in the Wal-Mart line of stores.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  3. * freckledk says:

    Love it. You could become the next Burt Bacharach!
    I’m all about the, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly,” and am going to try to keep that tune in my noggin instead, in an attempt to keep the Sanford and Son cacophony at bay. I don’t dare disrupt this master plan of mine by joining in on the lyric-penning. Buzzkill, I know, but I’ve gotta look out for numero uno.

    You’re excused from participating. But I do encourage you to rewrite the lyrics to bootylicious as often as possible. That shall be my next task.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  4. * Baby Bien says:

    The Sanford and Son theme song is in the bottom row toward the right.
    http://www.tvland.com/theme_songs/
    For those of you too young to remember it, it’s the song that Turk always sings on “Scrubs”

    For those us “you” too young? Because you’re, what, 50? [Self Edit]

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  5. * Arjewtino says:

    I bow down before INPY; if there were a contest for most creative lyrics to that song, he’d beat us all down.
    I just wish there were a way to hear them without hearing that song in my head!

    Whatever, dude. He pussed out and posted nothing. I dare him to step to this… *cocks her hat again*

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  6. * Laundro says:

    “Gotta wipe schvitz off ‘dem hos.”
    this line can not be topped.

    I am available for weddings and bar mitzvahs

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  7. * Dan says:

    I don’t even know this song.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  8. You’re talkin’ tough for someone who’s whole S&S entry is based on a name I gave you…

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  9. * Mandy says:

    Did someone say cou d’etat? Mixed bag o’ veggies? Huh?

    I do rather enjoy the singing.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  10. * Jo says:

    I’ll be at the Happy Hour! I promise!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  11. * carrie m says:

    CRU d’etat: When Vegetables Revolt.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  12. * kjohnsonesq says:

    I am so going to write new words to Bootylicious… Next time I am drunk and blogging… Which will probably mean tomorrow night… Stay tuned.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  13. * Heather B. says:

    Jew Pac I’m Sure!

    Oh you and your crude’tat. Good stuff that it is.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  14. * Black Foxx says:

    You Big Dummy!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago


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