Average Jane

Breaking News: Commandment No. 9 reversed in a unanimous decision

Ok, so while this blog is highly non-political, I have at times dipped my toe into topics of the day.

As you may know the topic today is the President commuting the sentence of Scooter Libby. In a unanimous decision by Mr. Bush and God, (because the former still speaks for the latter, right?) bearing false witness, No. 8 or 9 of the big 10 commandments (depending on your book’s edition apparently), has been downgraded from “sin” to “not so bad” sin.

When you start thinking about it, though, the President has broken a good number of the Top 10 Commandments.

He’s pretty much covered on 1-3. They are all the “I am your God” commandments and he’s in pretty good with the G-O-D.

We start to get in trouble here at 4. Keeping the Sabbath. Well, It’s pretty hard to do this as President, not to mention there is surely some discrepancy over  which Sabbath he’s supposed to be keeping holy, and how many of the 613 commandments he’s supposed to be keeping.

Honor thy mother and father. #5. He’s alright here, especially since he has devoted his entire presidency to “finishing the war his daddy started”. Which leads me to #6.

Murder. A moral struggle for him. Unborn babies and catatonic adults who want to die? Bad. Iraqis, soldiers, New Orleans residents, prisoners on death row? Well that’s alright. His inner struggle is apparent.

Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery.  Um. Condi? Just conjecture. Fine, we’ll give him #7.

Next is Stealing. #8. I would say that the money he has sucked out of the pockets of Americans for this war counts as stealing… But feel free to include your own thoughts on this one.

We’ve already touched on #9. Bearing false witness. But at least now we know that it’s not ok to lie, but you just don’t get in too much trouble so long as it’s, ya know, in the perceived best interest of… somebody.

Then there’s 10. Coveting. He has nothing to covet, I mean, clearly the world is covetous of us, which is why we’re busy spreading all that democracy!

Unfortuantely, commandment No. 11 (the one that clearly states that marriage is between a man and a woman…only) still remains heartily in tact. Thank goodness. I mean, lying to a grand jury about a national security issue I can deal with, but when it comes to people loving eachother and wanting to pledge it publicly and legally, I just can’t imagine what the world would come to…

To the president’s credit (*gag choke gag*), he didn’t flat out pardon the guy, he simply said the crime clearly didn’t warrant the punishment that is mandated for the crime.

Well, this is very good news for me because there are some illegal things that I’ve wanted to do for a while that I was afraid to do for fear of harsh punishment under the law. Like taking a crowbar to the hood of the jerk’s car who cut me off in traffic… Oh come on, you’ve thought about it. I may have already asked this once, but…

What would you do if it weren’t illegal? You can comment anonymously but I am fascinated by the answers I get to that question. I’ll comment anonymously about what I would do, too.

OK. </political rant> But there may be more to come.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Thinking Bloggers « Smart Tart pingbacked on 10 years, 11 months ago
  2. Nota Bene, 5/6 July 2007 « Scholars and Rogues pingbacked on 10 years, 11 months ago
  3. Scholars and Rogues » Blog Archive » Nota Bene, 5/6 July 2007 pingbacked on 10 years, 6 months ago


  1. * Arjewtino says:

    I can’t think of any. All the illegal things I’ve wanted to do I’ve done.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 11 months ago
  2. * Laundro says:


    | Reply Posted 10 years, 11 months ago
  3. * Gavin says:

    Making stuff legal makes it boring. The transgression is half the fun!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 11 months ago
  4. You missed the point. I read yesterday that the president commuted scooter’s sentence from two and a half years to only 30 months.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 11 months ago
  5. * matt says:

    Speaking of murder, I just saw a report on CNN about Utah’s death row laws. They still execute prisoners occassionally by firing squad.

    No shit.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 11 months ago
  6. * Debra says:

    FYI, Utah abolished the firing squad as a method of execution in 2004. Before it was abolished, lethal injection was the default method of execution in Utah, however inmates had the option of choosing death by firing squad. The option is still available for inmates sentenced prior to the 2004 law repealing the method.

    “Utah: Lethal Injection is the sole method of execution. Firing squad was chosen by some inmates prior to the passage of legislation banning the practice, and is only available for those inmates.”


    | Reply Posted 10 years, 11 months ago
  7. * kangaman says:

    I think id like to take a sledgehammer to my bosses car. Its a nice BMW, and even though she is a “friend of the family”, she treats me like shit. I think beating the crap out of her precious Beamer would be very cathartic.

    Oh, and robbing a bank would be fun to try. Anyone know a good wheel man or woman?

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 11 months ago

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