Average Jane

Be The Crazy

“Hey, BTP, are you a petaphile?”

The line was good, the delivery had been rehearsed… I was going to totally bring down the house! I was ready to prove my comic genius, the stars were simply aligned. Two glasses of sangria later, the time was right….

…except not at all, even one little bit.
Petabtyeophile! Petabyteophile!” My recovery attempt failed.

The looks of shock and shrills of laughter were hard to parse out. If it were a race, they were fighting for the lead. The table was in stitches… because I, Crazy Jane, had put my foot in my mouth again. My friends knew I was totally going to try that joke, had even done a small rehearsal, and completely botched it.

Botched. It was awesome. They were laughing right at me and I loved it. At least they were laughing.

At some point, I even whipped out my Easy Button. (Don’t be dirty. BTP’s the only one who doesn’t wear pants.)

“So…” I say to the lovely, tall, super fun friend I had just met… “Know any tall single Jewish men?”

“Actually, yes. He’s 26 and 6’2”

“That was easy!” I exclaimed, tapping my imaginary Easy Button. I really have to get one of those.

It’s not that I don’t think I’m fun or funny, it’s just that I’m told I’m not fun or funny at least once a week these days. I almost want to carry a small chalk board around me giving myself points for every time I don’t suck. (Again, don’t be dirty. Come on, friends! Give me some credit!)

On a side note, something else that happens every 2 or 3 weeks… I’m called  “sir”. Happened today on my scavenger hunt. I was wearing a green wifebeater with my big-boob-bra on my hair down and straight.  I nearly ran right into a stranger and apologized, to which he responded, “sorry, sir.” Just a little Average Jane fun fact.

I’m sad that I only got to see BTP and his rockin’ lady T for one night, but they are just so friggen rad I’ll take what I can get. Can’t wait until they get back here for realz. And “tip o’ the hat” to them for having some really super fun new friends that I can play with… who now know I a) have no sense of comic timing, and b) need very little more than 2 glasses of sangria to prove this.

But, to be fair, as most of you can attest, I really didn’t even need the sangria. 🙂


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  1. * Sam says:

    I’m reminded of the Scottish poet Robert Burns, who wrote “The best laid schemes of mice and men / gang aft ah mi gawd im so waisted hey u wanna hook up i wanna maek ou w/ u!!1” But what do you expect, he’s Scottish, he’s ALWAYS too “waisted” [sic] to have a line come off the first time he tries it in public. So cheer up, it happens to the best of us!

    (That’s Burns IMing a girl he used to go out with at the end there for a booty call–it didn’t work out for him).

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 7 months ago
  2. * Todd says:

    Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 7 months ago

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