Average Jane



I found “Women’s Lib” in the bathroom

Forget being financially stable and employed outside the home.

Forget being in my mid-twenties, single, and loving it (sort of).

Forget my amazing job and my amazing apartment and my amazing and almost paid off car…

Nothing is more rad and makes me feel more independent than fixing my fucking toilet. Me. My badass plunger. And my unrelenting will to win.

I never felt as liberated as I did the first time I successfully heard the *SWOOOOSH* of the water as it went down the drain after resisting my efforts for so long.  I stood over my porcelain adversary triumphant. I thrust my fist into the air, victorious over the forces of evil.

That is one gift that my ex gave me that I’ll always cherish — proper plunging technique.  As Arjewtino pointed out, the highest form of Tzedakkah is enabling the recipient to be self-sufficient. He did that. Thank God.

Because now I know that I can do anything.

TAKE THAT, POO-BITCHES!

What’s the last thing you did that made you feel like a badass?

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Comments

  1. * Alex says:

    Wait, you never explained what you did to clog it. Clearly the elephant in the room here is the elephant in the toilet. Your male readers want to know!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  2. * Beach Bum says:

    So in over 8 years living alone, without even a single roommate, I have never clogged a toilet — so I don’t even own a plunger… I think I should be pretty proud of that!

    Of course, that probably means I just jinxed myself, we’ll see…

    Oh man, you’re kind of my hero. But just so you know, there’s nothing worse than being stuck (pun only mildly intended) without a plunger when you need one. I recommend the heavy duty kind with the accordion like plungy part. But that’s just me.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  3. * Baby Bien says:

    “I stood over my porcelain adversary triumphant.” It should be triumphantly.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  4. * Baby Bien says:

    For those of you who missed it, what I intended to say was, “I stood over my porcelain adversary triumphant [in my task]”.

    Or not. Fine. But we can both be right.

    …and that is where Baby Bien admits defeat. In his own way.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  5. * Ibid says:

    The mortar in my house is largely sand. I exposed the wall in one room, drilled out the sand, packed in new mortar, tore out the ceiling, patched some damage on one of the sheetrock walls, tore up the carpet and put down new flooring. Now I’m converting the dead space above my bedroom into an attic.

    You win.

    Mind you, I grew up on a farm raising barns and repairing large diesel engines. The standards I hold myself to are a bit different. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  6. * DCB says:

    Financially Stable – Check.
    Not living with parents – Check.
    Young and happy – Check.
    Great Apartment – Check.
    Knows how to fix toilet – Check.

    Adding enough fiber to diet… ummm….

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  7. * Bill the traveling salesman says:

    wipe wipe flush. repeat as often as necessary.

    never wipe wipe wipe flush.

    Trust me.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  8. * Sam says:

    “What’s the last thing you did that made you feel like a badass?”

    I always feel like a badass–lack of confidence isn’t one of my failings (now pride on the other hand). I think the most bad-ass thing I did was probably my most humbling moment at the time. After witnessing a young man being hit by an SUV traveling at 50 mph, I jumped out of my car and stabilized him. He had a compound fracture in his right wrist, which is why I didn’t feel like a badass at the time; it’s impossible to feel cool while you’re looking at someone’s bones as he’s screaming at you.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  9. * Lexxie says:

    When I insisted that we get a plunger for our apartment, my roommate gave me a polite but disgusted look along the lines of, “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

    I can’t even count the number of times she’s thanked me for insisting on that!

    Every woman person should have a plunger & a decent tool kit around the house. Alwaysss.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  10. * Lexxie says:

    (…woman was meant to be striked out in that last little blurb…)

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago


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