My mom’s got priorities!
Why is my mom awesome? Oh, so many reasons. Here’s the latest:
I call her from work today to follow up on some crap going on with my apartment. She compliments me on a nastygram I wrote to my apartment complex management about the large gap they left in my bathroom when they replaced the floor… neither here nor there. So she says, “I wish I could write! I can’t do it!” I tell her that of course she can write! She’s brilliant! So then she says… “Wanna hear a joke?”
Oh, this should be good…
You know how daddy bangs up my car door when he throws his open in the garage? How it’s all scraped up on that side? [Yeah, mom. Asshole.] So I’m at the house of the girl I tutor. And her dad comes in.
He says, “Ms. Jane’s Mom, did you get in an accident?”
My mom replies, “No. I haven’t been in any accidents… lately.”
“Oh, it’s just that your car’s all scraped up on that side! Are you gonna get a new one?”
“What?” My mom asks, “A new husband? Because I’m keeping this car for at least another 10 years! It’s paid off!”
Cackling, I tell my mom I love her and that I have to go. *sigh* My mom pwns.