Average Jane



Famous is as famous does, so that makes you…

Last weekend was my dear friend’s bachelorette party. We did requisite bachelorette party things including this check list/scavenger hunt thing. There were piggyback rides from strangers, money placed into bras by doormen, multiple shots taken in rapid successions, dancing dancing dancing, and of course male strippers…

The boys entertained themselves while the girls played on the town. And played we did. But this weekend was their turn. They headed back out of town to do things legal only in other places (or something), so naturally the girls had to stay home and be good little girls while the boys were away.

Or not.

After an afternoon of shopping and knitting, then dinner with my moms, the three girls headed out with one mission: Margaritas. Lots of them.

We ended up at our local bar, mildly drunk, and giggly… so giggly. It was empty so we grabbed three seats at the bar and ordered our next round of margaritas. Half a drink in, two gentlemen walk in. I have no idea what I said to get their attention, but they took two seats at the bar right next to us and introduced themselves. Well, the first guy introduced himself, the second guy threw down a trading card.

So, he tells me his name and says he’s a professional poker player and I kind of stare blankly at him. I wasn’t sure what the appropriate reaction was.

  1. “Wow! You, so cooooool. Can I have your autograph?” (That didn’t work in the end because he had already signed the card)
  2. “Hmm… I hate poker. How are you at black jack?”
  3. “That’s nice. I’m a blogger. And I’m going to write all about your douche-i-ness.”

I think I actually went with, “Really? I thought he was a baseball player. Comedian?”

So, I’ve never been good with the whole “star struck” thing. I know that when you meet someone famous you’re supposed to be a blathering idiot and get all googly-eyed, and ask for their autographs, and call all your friends, etc. etc. etc. I tend to not do that so much. What I do do is just kind of talk to them like I’d talk to anyone I know (never a great idea considering I tend to make bad jokes that my friends get but really no one else ever does… and by “my friends get” I really mean they humor me and laugh anyway).

My friend had her own brush with fame (real fame) a few weeks ago. She met Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner and the ghost of their kid (yeeeaaah – she explains). These were actual famous people. I met a not-that-great professional poker player drunk of my ass at a bar. And thought he was a baseball player. Or something.

I guess I was just thrown off my the trading card. Who does that? I guess my recommendation to all the famous people who read my blog – don’t give trading cards to girls you meet at bars in an attempt to impress them unless you’re, like, a baseball player… or a garbage pail kid.

So, tell me about your brushes with fame! Who was the last “famous person” you met? Were you as fucking awesome as I was?

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Comments

  1. * Ibid says:

    “Great, I can put this in my bicycle spokes.”

    “Huh. And does this usually make for a good pickup line?”

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  2. * Ibid says:

    Brushes with fame… hmmm. I guess that depends on where you’re from. I got Dad an autographed book and he’s thrilled beyond words. Nobody ever goes to sign books in Wichita. So by the perspective of most people I went to school with I’ve met a couple dozen famous authors.

    I’ve chatted with a few ex-senators. Max Cleland being the most notable.
    I got Freeman Dyson’s autograph. What? I’ve got a thing for physicists.
    I spent about 15 minutes chatting with Gerry Trudeau (Doonesbury).
    I bumped into the “Who Wants to Marry a Millionare” guy in Georgetown.
    I just found out I’m related to the General Cody who was testifying about war progress last week.
    It’s a book signing, but I got Larry Niven to autograph my copy “Ringworld”. If you’re a geek that’s huge.
    Some time back I sat at the table next to a bunch of Star Trek: Voyager stars.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  3. * Sam says:

    Barack Obama a year or so back. He was already in the race and I already thought he was going to win and be our next President, but all the same, while I was shaking his hand all I could think was, “wow, he must moisturize.”

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago


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