Average Jane



Caught

I’m glad it was me who caught myself. I don’t know how long it had been. When I found myself, I was staring at my cubicle wall. I realize I am hot, but I have goosebumps from a chill. My mind is racing and empty at the same time. The only feeling I can muster is the strong desire to not be here where I am. The only thing I know is that I am not well.

The only thing I want to do is sit in a room with someone else. Not talking. Not working. Just together. That sounds ridiculous. It feels ridiculous. I know where I want to be and who I want to be with.

I want to be connected but I am not connected. I want to be taken care of but independent.  I want to be what people need and strong enough to be what I need, too.

I caught myself at work staring at the wall. I am not well. I know I need help.

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Comments

  1. * aBove says:

    Sitting in a room with someone else doesn’t sound ridiculous, it sounds like being close to them. My best friend has always said, “you’re not really close to someone until you’ve resolved and argument with them and you’ve spent an hour in each other’s company without needing to talk.”

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago
  2. * ivan says:

    >_> group hug bloggers? <_<

    then 1: as aBove said, quit using ridiculous when refering to things related to you, you rock, next time, I’ll e-bitch-slap you.

    2:Then, failing to find motivation in you everyday routine (and this is no pejorative word) every once in a while is no sign of weakness, just find something to add to it, temporarily or not, people, new interests, revived old ones.

    3:I can’t remember what was my third point… Have I mentionned you rocked?

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago
  3. * John says:

    I’d just like to agree with Ivan and say, you’re awesome. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure things out. Smiles from the blogger world.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago
  4. * Andi says:

    I know you don’t know me, but I think I know how you feel because I’ve been there. Please just hang on and muddle through. It’ll get better.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago


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