Average Jane



Gym Slut: You Are Doing Wrong

The inane conversations I hear at the gym are typically drowned out by my worth-more-than-all-the-money-in-the-world 2GB iPod (in silver).

Today, however, I was dismayed to find that I had left my iPod in the car and didn’t really have enough time before kickboxing to go get it. I was planning on squeezing in a quick arms workout before class.

Freeweights are down in the “testosteroom” where you have to cut through the bravado to reach the weights themselves.  I grabbed by barbell and laid down on the bench. Midway through my first set, a triad of “burly men” started chatting about work.

LittleGuy: So, what kind of cut do you guys get these days?
BigHead: Well, it depends. They just restructured the pay offs.
LittleGuy: Alright, well what would someone get paid for a $500,000 sale
BigHead: Oh, he’d get paid like a slut. Seriously. A slut.
[At this point… my set is over. I sit up and do my best to bite my tongue]
LittleGuy: Really? Like how much?
BigHead: You have no idea. I’m telling you, man. Dude would get paid like a slut.
LittleGuy: What kind of slut? Like… an expensive slut?

Now, I could no longer contain myself. I perked up, turned to the group and chimed in:
“Sluts don’t get paid. Hookers get paid. Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to clarify.”

Dumbfounded, they looked at each other and then cracked up. “Yeah I guess you’re right.” was the general consensus. “So, it you really wanted to get your point across, you’d say, ‘He’d get paid like a whore,’ ya know, rather than a slut.”

LittleGuy chimed in, “But good sluts — they can get paid.”

I could have let it go right there… but of course, I didn’t. “Then I must be doing it wrong,” I responded and shot them my best I-can-totally-hang-with-the-dudes *wink*.

More laughter and ribbing between the guys ensued and as I went to lay down for my second set I said triumphantly, “Well, I guess that’s what I get for working out down here with the big boys.”

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Comments

  1. * nadj says:

    Oh man, that actually made me laugh out loud. This is why I wear noise reducing headphones at the gym to cut out all the morons 🙂

    While I’m hear, I wanted to let you know about a contest I’m having over my blog On the Red Line. All the proceeds go to the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation and the winner gets a $50 Amazon gift certificate.

    http://jcnemecek.com/grosvenor/?p=445

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 12 months ago
  2. * alex eagle says:

    sorry i can’t use capitals because the shift key isnt working in chrome in my vmware windows on linux through synergy from my mac with the dvorak keyboard.

    anyway this is awesome and i wish i had been there. i bet those guys would pay you to be their bench press slut because they don’t realize its supposed to be free.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 12 months ago
  3. * Bill says:

    SORRY I CAN ONLY USE CAPITALS BECAUSE THE SHIFT KEY IS STUCK IN CHROME IN MY VMWARE WINDOWS ON LINUX SYNERGY FROM MY MAC WITH THE DVORAK KEYBOARD.

    No, that’s not true, but I so wish it was.

    Floozy, Slut, whore.

    Floozy – likes the sport of it all, but doesn’t accept money or gifts.
    Slut – likes the sport of it AND gets gifts
    Whore – just gets paid.

    Or, maybe I have it wrong. dunno.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 12 months ago
  4. * k8 says:

    That so totally and completely made me laugh.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 12 months ago
  5. * aBove says:

    I always thoughts whores did it for money, sluts did it for fun.

    Regardless, the above post is just another reason why we are friends.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 12 months ago
  6. * Eva says:

    LOL 🙂 That was a great post. I wish I could have seen you tell those guys how it was!!!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 12 months ago
  7. * ivan says:

    “slut” is what I used to say hi with on the internet to my friends, it’s “salut” (hello) shortened of an a. It’s become awkward now that me and some of my friends got more fluent in english…>_>

    Damn you english language, leave my greetings alone T.T

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  8. * 11minutes says:

    You ARE doing it wrong.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago


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