Average Jane

What are you? (Rules of Halloween)

Halloween this year was a “win”. I had an absolute blast with my new completely awesome and amazingly fun friend “Pam”. But, I think according to the rules of Halloween, I came up a big loser.

Her costume was incredible. She looked just like Pam Beesly right down to the sparkling white keds and yogurt lid medal. After a few seconds, she was recognized by most passers by, igniting a lighthearted conversation about The Office and how much she resembled the affable receptionist.

Then they looked at me.

“What are you?”

I’m, like, a mod?


Ya know. Like Twiggy? Like, in the 60s?

“Oh. Ok”

It went on like this all night – and got a teeeeeeny bit annoying. I think the problem is, I missed the memo that you had to be something for Halloween. I kind of assumed that you could just dress up and be a-ok. Sorely mistaken.

I have to say, my outfit was perfect. My makeup was as mod-ish as could be. My hair was perfectly teased and head-banded. I had on the cutest little swing dress with the perfect little boatneck. I LOOKED GOOD, DAMNIT!

As I counted the Sexy/Naughty [ insert noun here ] costumes (of note, Sexy Taxi Cab. I mean, I assume it was a car and not a driver as I don’t think taxi drivers wear all yellow with black checkers), I thought – how did Halloween get so off course? Why was Naughty Nurse getting more attention that the fully functioning Lite Brite? Perhaps if the girl had made a naked lady out of the tiny christmas lights, she would have been better off?

Recognizable or not, I was in top form and on the prowl. Pam and I bailed on the most-poorly-organized-party-ever and headed over to my favorite little underground bar. When we got there, we joined the company of “Marc Summers” and a team from Double Dare. Pam and I took a few questions and then opted for the Physical Challenge. Well, at least I did. (Mind out of the gutter, people! I’m only kind of that type of girl.)

My rules for Halloween are as follows: Go out. Be safe. And have the time of your life. The next time someone asks “What are you?” I think my answer will be “Pretty fucking awesome.”


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Mr. Emily says:

    Ah ha! Now I get it! Awesome!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  2. * Beach Bum says:

    How sad that there are people reading this who are too young to know what Lite Brite is and you had to link it…

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  3. argh.
    I dressed (what I thought was) clearly as a lion.
    We stopped for crackers and a store employee asked what I was.
    My friend (god bless her) says, without missing a beat, “She’s a doctor.”

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago

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