Average Jane

And I thought misery loved company

Proposition 8.

I have thought long and hard about how to even begin broaching the subject.

I thought about it all morning as I wrote my post on Veteran’s Day.

I thought about how those troops were only fighting for the rights of *most* Americans.

I thought about the fact that those troops who would be affected by Proposition 8 can’t serve their country openly and honestly.

The argument for Prop 8 is clear: Marriage = Man+Woman.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m no scientist/mathlete. But I see it like this: Marrige = (Man+Woman) – [.5 X (infidelity/time) X (cost of counseling + cost of hush money for mistress/misterer + cost of divorce lawyer)]

If misery loves company, why in the world are people so keen on preventing gay couples the priviledge of ruining their lives and the lives of their children, as well?

Keith Olbermann asked the question so poignantly in his Special Comment last night: “Why does this matter to you? What is it to you?” (full transcript can be found here) …And I beg to ask the same. How does the “redefinition” of marriage affect those who are already married?

My conjectures abound:

  • Maybe God was wrong and gay people are actually… people, too?
  • If gay people get married and stay married more than 50% of the time, straight people are doing it wrong?
  • All the gay people that got married because they thought it was the only option for benefits and tax breaks will be really pissed off… and no one likes regret.
  • Everyone will “go gay” because who doesn’t like rainbows?
  • Because once this issue has been decided, the evangelicals will only have abortion to rally against, and that whole “woman’s right to choose” thing is really catching on.

I have to say, to even come up with those abominations was gut wrenching. It makes no sense. The answer is… it doesn’t affect them. Not one bit. Not on any level. Not except to challenge their frail faith in a book written by a man who preached love and acceptance and happiness above all else. Do unto others, He said… Do unto other as you would have them do unto you. And if that means giving gay couples the pleasure of a miserable marriage — one that even the most religious abandon on a regular basis — then damn it all… give them that right.

Keith Olbermann said he has no personal stake in this issue. “I’m not gay,” he says. “I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.” That is where we disagree. I think he does have a stake in this. In synagogue, we stand up during mourner’s kaddish in Shabbat services even if we aren’t in mourning ourselves because there are people who died, who die every day, that don’t have people to stand for them. We are a nation of peers who fight for each other, who help each other, who stand for each other especially when there is no one to stand for them. Keith Olbermann stood up last night for every gay man or woman who has been abandoned by their family and friends. He stood up for those left to fall, crying into the arms of the one person who loves them more than anyone in the world… the very person who they are legally forbidden from marrying because their family members are too afraid to questions their faith.

If your faith is so strong. If you are so wise. If you have read your bible and know what is true and right, then why are you so afraid? Be faithful and good and loving. Feed the poor. Protect the environment. Be good to your fellow man, for fuck sake. They are not out there trying to convince you to be gay. THEY DON’T WANT YOU! To be honest you probably aren’t good enough for them, and I guarantee not attractive nor stylish enough. They don’t want to make you gay. They just want to be left the fuck alone in marital bliss.

Saturday is my birthday. I get to spend it with the people I love in San Francisco. And if I’m lucky, I’ll get to spend it marching against Proposition 8 with thousands and thousands fellow Americans who want to be heard. I would have done anything to have voted against Proposition 8 myself, but as a non-CA resident, I wasn’t afforded that honor. Instead, I will stand up with the millions of protesters across the country (find one near you: http://jointheimpact.com/) as we fight for those who live their lives as second-class American citizens for far too long.

Take a few minutes to watch Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on Prop 8. No matter which side you fall on, you will surely not regret it.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Maxie says:

    Happy early birthday– I’m jealous you get to be in San Fran for the 15th because I can imagine that will be pretty amazing.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  2. * Eva says:

    You tell’em mama! 🙂

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  3. * Emily says:

    There was a rally here in NYC on Saturday at City Hall. I stumbled across it and was overwhelmed by the positive energy. I agree with you and see no reason to not allow marriage to any adult that wants it.

    Great post.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago

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