Average Jane

Him But Not Him

When I saw him walk up to the bar, my heart skipped a beat. He was the doppelganger of an ex.

He continually caught my eye as his comrade entertained my friend. I averted eye contact as much as in hopes that would prevent any further advances. Not necessarily an open wound, seeing “him” again hurt more than I had expected.

Slowly but surely, he made his way around the bar in my direction. I braced for impact. But landed softly.

I smiled politely and cautioned, “I want you to know that you look exactly like my ex, and this is really hard for me. You have a big hole to dig yourself out of.”

And dig he did… all evening.

Talking to”him but not him” helped somehow.  It decriminalized the being of him. It allowed me to learn to breathe around him again.

He gave me his number before I left the bar. Wanted to take me out. But I can’t. While it may be easier to breathe on this path, I’ve been down it before. And I guess I prefer a path less traveled. One with fewer potential bumps along the way. I want to make new memories, not spend my time erasing old ones.

He isn’t from around here, and I shouldn’t run into him again during his stay. It’s for the best, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I should thank him for his help. One more step toward healing.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * lacochran says:

    I can’t imagine going out with someone who looks like my ex. Too weird. There are plenty of fish in the sea that one need pull the same puffer twice.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 6 months ago
  2. * aBove says:

    Just wanted to say thanks for using “doppelganger” correctly in a sentence. I owe you a beer.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  3. * Emily says:

    Weird. Good for you for taking it as a healing opportunity.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago

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