Average Jane

So it’s Christmas Day…*

*Alternately entitled… “Which is gayer?”

[NOTE: This is, what one may call, an “adult themed post” with, erm, adultly themed content. Viewer discretion is advised.]

One of the benefits of being unemployed is unlimited access to daytime television. Unfortunately, the daytime television quality control police are not unemployed and therefore cannot monitor daytime television with the same frequency as myself. This means some really suspect programming falls through the cracks. Lucky for you all, I’m here to report on all of it.

Most of my time is spent watching any number of court shows (for a complete schedule, inquire within, or if you just want proof that I can fill my entire day with court shows, ask PRSlaveDC.) But the time that I spend at the gym leaves the television programming selection out of my control. Last week, the elliptical gods had the TV tuned to Tyra. Lucky for me, I caught it just as it started so I didn’t miss a thing.

*Dramatic Intro Music Plays (Presumably)* Oh – so I didn’t actually get to hear any of this because I was on the elliptical without a radio to tune into the show’s audio.

(Read in subtitles… generally) “Straight men who do gay porn on today’s Tyra! … This man is happily married with 3 kids and 1 on the way! He does gay porn! This man just broke up with his girlfirend last week. How can they do it?”

Title of the show? “I’m Gay for Pay.

Wow. Tyra and her crack team of journalists were back on the case, finding out the information you want to know about the subjects that matter to you most. Like gay porn and their straight male stars. Do you feel duped?! Stay tuned to find out…

I didn’t have very high expectations for the takeaway message of the show, but man, was I wrong. I have been thinking about it ever since. Tell me what you think…

In her very delicate way, Tyra asks… “So, it’s Christmas Day. Ya know – this is daytime tv, so ya know… it’s Christmas Day. Are you… um… Are you giving gifts? Or are you receiving gifts?” The closed captioning indicates *giggles* from the audience.  More than likely because the analogy was fucking retarded, not necessarily because of the subject matter. Maybe that was just me.

The straight-married-father-of-4-gay-porn-star responds… “Well, I receive gifts.” Tyra looks shocked. She responds… “When I heard that I said to my producer, “Isn’t receiving gifts gayer than giving gifts?” *Nods are seen spreading through the crowd.* “But then she said, ‘But when you think about it, you don’t have to be aroused to receive gifts, so giving gifts is gayer, right?'” *The audience is now confused. You can tell by the pensive looks on their faces.*

So now let’s get back to me ellipticalling away in my little suburban gym. Gayer? Really? So the question she’s asking is, “Which of the two men having gay sex is gayer?” Initially, I thought – Tyra’s an idiot. And, to be fair, I stand by that claim. But the situation is apparently less cut and dry than I assumed. I have now posed this question to 2 straight men, 1 of their wives, and 2 lesbians. Shockingly enough, there was a consensus and I wasn’t a part of it. So I guess that doesn’t make it a consensus… or it just means I’m wrong.

Here was my thinking. Neither is gayer because one is straight. The act of the gayness doesn’t mean that one of them is gay. It’s like… if a vegetarian is in a country where they have never really heard of vegetarianism, and they eat meat because they have to (no awkward meat-pun intended) they are still a vegetarian. They just… ate meat. Right? But apparently this was not even a consideration to the 5 people I polled. In legal terms, it was stipulated that there was at least some gayness involved.

The conversation went into some nuances of gay culture and the mentality involved in hetero- and homosexual …relations. I was shocked that there were such strong opinions on the subject. Mind you, the conversation was actually done in a loving, kind of respectful way. I just giggled at how ludicrous is all seemed. I really hesitate to ask you, my bloglings, the question at all. But feel free to weigh in if you like 🙂


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Emily says:


    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  2. * Sam says:

    I have to disagree with the vegetarian analogy. Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice. Homosexuality is a biological predisposition. So a man can be a homosexual and either give or receive…or even go without having sex, just like I can be a heterosexual without having sex (and God knows that’s the default state for me…Jesus four months went by fast).

    But that still means I can’t help but agree with your conclusion that the subtle nuances of pitching versus catching doesn’t make either act any more gay — but then again, certainly neither act would make the guest on the show any more straight!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  3. * freckledk says:

    Yes, but the real question: How did Tyra turn the subject around, to make it all about her? Because, when it comes down to it, every single episode of her show ends up being all about Tyra.

    Amen. Amen. Amen.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  4. * PRSlaveDC says:

    I feel validated that I am part of the consensus… its always nice to be right!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  5. * Maxie says:

    Tyra is so ridiculous.

    I remember seeing an episode of True Life “I work in the Sex Industry” on MTV and there was a straight guy doing gay porn there. He said he took viagra or something like it to keep his hard on, but really? Why would you do that if you didn’t enjoy it at all.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: