Average Jane

Average Jane v2.0: Time to upgrade!

My MO these days is the following: Stay out of the house!

Typically, I wake up with some stack of plans. Most of the time it involves a wardrobe change at some point during the day. Yesterday, my plan stack was thus:  Lunch at my apartment with an old coworker, trip to visit PRSlaveDC, yoga, dinner. I opted to dress in the morning for yoga and pack a change for post-yoga activities. My yoga top is super duper cute, but, uh, doesn’t require a bra. It’s got a little built in dealy which is great. To be honest, I don’t need much, er, support in that area.

I scurried to gather the rest of my things before heading out the door into the frigid weather plaguing the DC Metro area this week. I jumped into my car to head south (late, as usual) and hit the road. About 5 minutes down the road, I started going through what I had packed and realized… I forgot to pack a bra. I didn’t have one on, and not wearing a bra with the outfit for the evening was just not an option. (And not because my boobs are too big. Use your imagination.) I considered turning around, but I realized the comic gold that could be found bra shopping with a dude.

I called to forewarn him of my dillema and asked him to start thinking of places I could go. I scooped him up and we hit the road what could have been either painful or hilarious. I was kind of hoping for both. Macy’s was our destination and when we finally found the lingerie department, I was thrilled to see there was a mega-sale. It was an emergency bra and I didn’t want to spend an arm and a leg. Or 2 boobs. I found the bras that I usually buy, but the clearance rack caught my eye. I found a red Calvin Klein bra on super sale in my “size” (if you can call really, really small a size). Then I decided to find one more just in case. I made my way back to the rack of Maidenforms.

I picked up a purple and blue polkadot bra and held it up. “Whadda ya think?” His response? “It’s fine.”

“Cute, right?” I inquired.

“Well, it’s not leopard print. But I don’t really think you have a leopard print mentality,” he replied.

“No way! I could totally do leopard print!”

“Well, maybe, but you don’t really have a leopard print mentality… today.”

“Ohhhh yes I do. I… alright maybe not. I don’t have the whole ‘sex kitten’ thing going on, huh? Maybe… Maybe I need a Sex Kitten Expansion Pack. Like in World of Warcraft or something.”

He couldn’t stop laughing. Making him laugh is kind of the thing I love doing most, so when he busted out with the giggles, I got the warm fuzzies all over. Really, it hurt because it’s true. I don’t do “sexy”.  I do “cute” sometimes, but most of the time I do “geeky and awkward” and hope it works out. So how great would it be to get an upgrade to “Sex Kitten”.

I have NO idea what typically comes in gaming expansion packs, but mine would come with superpowers and additional energy supplies. Perhaps new opponents to conquer? And definitely a second controller.

Because playing alone would just be sad.

What expansion pack would you want for yourself?


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  1. * Katherine says:

    you COULD SO do leopard print! you have spunk.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  2. * PRSlaveDC says:

    Several thoughts:

    1) I greatly enjoy that one of the “suggested” posts attached is “How to Wear Leopard”, as though you needed the tutorial…

    2) I think the next adventure has to be either swimsuit shopping and/or a Victoria’s Secret run, so I can prove just how clueless I am about women’s undergarments.

    3) I think I might want the “Rico Suave” Expansion pack.

    4) I secretly believe you went back in the afternoon to pick up the leopard print.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  3. * Shannon says:

    I don’t want an expansion pack…I want go-go-Gadget arms so I can reach the top shelf.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  4. * Emily says:

    I could do with a Sex Kitten upgrade, too!

    great post.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago
  5. * Megan says:

    Two thoughts:

    1. There’s nothing wrong with a non-size size. I can’t shop at Victoria’s Secret because of my own non-size. But, I comfort myself with knowing I’ll still look cute and perky when I’m 50.


    2. Everyone can wear leopard print. It’s like a neutral.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 2 months ago

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