Average Jane

Back on the horse, eh?

I cut ties with a vengance. Ruthless.

If it’s time to let go, I throw the rope in the water and watch you float off into the sunset … with or without a life raft. Depends on my mood.

My last suitor was a miserable failure, and I can say this with confidence after working *very* hard for a full month at turning the motor over on a lemon. Yes he was fron JDate. No, we never told anyone. (More on this later.)

A little back story – After our third date he said to me, “Alright, I have to give you my real AIM name.” Huh? “That one is for JDate girls. Can’t have my worlds collide, you know?” Right. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?

I went home and added his new “real” screen name all excited that I was becoming a part of his “real” world. With my new year’s goal of “3 dates in 2009” I felt triumphant. He was happy he didn’t have to manage two screen names anymore. Double lives must be exhausting. Or whatever.

Needless to say when we broke up ended whatever it was we had, the first thing to go was the screen name. I have even less IM control than texting. For the last week or so my life has been remarkably, peacefully Him free.

Until tonight when I spied a name on my buddy list that was unfamiliar. And then, like a smack on the forehead, it hit me. The little shit was back on the horse. Back at it on JDate which is more than I can say for myself.

I realized that if I was too embarrassed to tell people where I met my boyfriend, why the hell am I even looking there? We had a whole story cooked up on how to tell people we met. I then suggested that we scrap that and just tell everyone a different story – and should we ever (heaven forbit) get married, we’ll let them all figure it out at the wedding.

So I’m done. JDate be damned. Same goes for Match. If I’m going to meet someone it is going to be in person and it is going to fail on my terms, not theirs, damn it. I took it upon myself to delete his pimp-my-screenname from my list and moved right along with my night.

Well, I will move right along… as soon as I publish this angsty little post 🙂


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Maxie says:

    I’ve thought about getting on match or eharmony, but i’m in the same boat– I can’t imagine telling my family we met on one of those sites. Some of my friends would think it’s totally normal, but my family? No way. They’d be freaked I ever trusted someone enough to even meet up with them.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago
  2. * Daniel says:

    I met my current GF on Match. I really have no problem telling people where we met (and neither did she after I jokingly started listing potential stories that I could tell instead… the Match.com story is much better than those alternatives).

    BTW, I used a secondary email account for my dating site stuff. Women got “promoted” if I started using my primary email address…

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago
  3. * Sam says:

    I’m of mixed minds about JDate. Because on the one hand, yes, LOLridiculous. But you’re still a step ahead of the game on my friend who met her boyfriend on Craigslist (no, not that part. No, not missed connections, either, but you’re close! Yeah, THAT part of Craigslist). And I’ve sworn up and down that you never meet anyone you’d ever want to take home to mom in a bar…except last week I went back home and introduced the girl I’m going ot marry to my mother, six months after meeting her in–you guessed it–a bar.

    I am pretty old-fashioned about dating, though. I got tired of Facebook, for instance, so I stopped using it. This was much to the consternation of my better half, who remains perplexed that I won’t let her facebook stalk me or link my picture in with her relationship status or whatever. But what can I say? Anyone who needs to know what my current status is doesn’t need to read it on my profile, if they want to know they can call me and ask.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago
  4. * LiLu says:

    Honestly, I just don’t think the internet has the same sort of stigma it used to… I can understand that it would to your parents, perhaps. But if you really think about it… doesn’t it kind of make the most sense, as far as a way to meet someone who has common interests and values and all that? Sure, you’ll have to dig through a few until you find someone you have chemistry with in person as well… but, I dunno, it just seems sort of like shooting fish in a barrel compared to sitting in a bar hoping some guy comes up to you who’s perfect. (Although, that’s exactly what happened to me… so who am I to talk?) But I think I got really, really lucky…

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 1 month ago

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