Average Jane

Women are Assholes, too

I watched I Heart Huckabees tonight. And now the hamster wheel in my head has slowed to a halt as the thoughts finally stop racing.

It was a bit of a mindfuck to say the least.

But the question that stayed with me was, “Do you believe in love?”

I was once questioned on my belief in God. “You don’t have to believe in God. He just exists.” Then I was questioned on my belief in gravity. “You don’t have to believe in gravity. You’re not floating away, are you?” Then I was questioned on my believe in love. “Of course you’ll fall in love. You’re just young.”

I’m not that young. I’m 27. And for 25.75 of those years I’ve been single, the 1.25 years that I could be considered not-single are a rough calculation of all the first dates, second dates, “few dates” guys that never panned out, and my one “long term relationship” that lasted 8 months.

So I’m talking to a friend tonight, and she, too says, “You’re young! Fuck around with men!”

But I’m not that kind of girl. Recently I’ve learned not to judge anyone who is that kind of girl, because really, it’s them, not me. But really, it’s not me.

Guys are assholes, 100%. They break us. They broke me. They broke the girl I was talking to.

We say, “If they’re assholes, why can’t we be assholes?” Here’s why: We are never assholes to the guys who are assholes to us. We’re assholes to the good guys. the ones who don’t deserve it. The ones who are easy targets — who take it.

And I’m far too self aware to be that girl.

I am not willing to kiss frogs while waiting for my prince. But then again, I may have kissed some princes and been too scared to open my eyes and see them for what they were. I have sabotaged every good thing that’s come my way. Fact.

So anyway, tonight, after watching the movie, that one question haunted me: Do I believe in love?


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  1. * Beach Bum says:

    I must be the only girl who actually has a thing for nice guys. Be sweet and nice to me and you’ll conquer my heart. Doesn’t mean I haven’t dated assholes — they just acted nice at first to lure me in.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
    • * Average Jane says:

      I think we all *want* to have a thing for nice guys. Someone explained to me once that when we’re little girls, we’re told that “if he pulls your pigtails, he likes you.” And therein lies the inception of our penchant for assholes. I’d love to fall in love with the nice guy. I’d love to fall in love at all…

      | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
      • * John Grays says:

        I don’t believe that we, the nice guys stand a chance because only the asshole guys go along with the now-a-days conditions women have in their Pandora’s boxes.

        Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
    • * Rick says:

      You females only know HOW to PICK ASSHOLES. He was still AN ASSHOLE! YOU FEMALES ONLY KNOW HOW TO LISTEN TO WRONG!!! AND IGNORE RIGHT!!! And frustrate and ignore REAL RARE GREAT MEN!!!

      | Reply Posted 3 months, 1 week ago
  2. You do, I think. Just make sure you’re open to it when it’s time. You never know.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
    • * Average Jane says:

      I can honestly say that I most likely thwart every good thing that comes along. I need to be more open. You’re 100% right.

      | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  3. * Rachel says:

    I’m one of those girls. And it was because a guy broke me, cleanly broke me into pieces. But I still believe in love.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
    • * Average Jane says:

      I admire you. I want to believe in love. But the one that broke me… he still crosses my mind every day. I don’t think I loved him, but I think I got so close with him that I wonder if I’ll ever see the top of mountain at all.

      | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
    • * Rick says:

      Yet you females don’t take responsibility at all for YOU PICKED HIM. You females PICK WRONG ALWAYS yet then call all men the blame

      | Reply Posted 1 year, 4 months ago
    • * Rick says:

      And you females break and ignore REAL RARE GREAT MEN

      | Reply Posted 3 months, 1 week ago
  4. * cuteellaisbold says:

    I will be the one to say it. Sure there are assholes out there, but not 100% of guys are. I know some awesome guys who are so not assholes and on their behalf, I say, “Give guys a chance” They will make mistakes, be boneheads and unintentionally hurt us – but keep in mind that one brain and two heads sure does complicate matters.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
    • * Average Jane says:

      *sigh* Form over function. I do like that second head.

      | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
    • * Rick says:


      | Reply Posted 3 months, 1 week ago
  5. * Becky says:

    I saw this Carrie Underwood lyric in a magazine recently and it gave me a good laugh:
    And I close my eyes
    And I kiss that frog
    Each time finding
    The more boys I meet the more I love my dog

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  6. * Spartan says:

    Aw, c’mon.

    That whole bit about liking nice guys is nothing more than a cruel trick to get guys like me to act a certain way, which never gets the girl…

    However, rather than try to become a PUA or a total a-hole, I have decided to be single forever. Since I refuse to use women, my dating is limited to casual dinner or drinks, nothing more than friendship, and I explain that up front. No kissing, no sex, just friends.

    The dating scene is over; why do we pretend there is any chance for real relationships anymore. Best to just enjoy the intellectual company of interesting women and leave it at that.

    I used to want to find a nice girl and give her everything I could. No takers, though. It’s okay. No one wants a really sincere guy unless he is a reformed alpha. That is the reality of the dating marketplace. There are only so many alphas to go around, of course.

    What I eventually realized is that most women would prefer to remain single in hopes of catching an alpha male rather than settling for the alternative.

    Hey, I don’t go where I am not wanted. But sometimes it gets old hearing women complain about the lack of decent men. We are everywhere, but we are not what you find attractive, which is fine. But please, please, stop adding insult to injury by essentially saying that you want a nice guy, it is just not true.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 9 months ago
  7. * Robert says:

    What is with the gender-based name calling. If you have lost in love, the other person becomes an asshole? If you have fallen in love & try to change the other person THEN you are a complete & total asshole. So many women try to do this (so I concur with your title).

    Women in general ARE assholes. You operate with so little emotional control as to come off as insane. They then have the gall to act entitled. If the guy is not the right one for you then part company nicely. If you are finding yourself alone calling men names, then see a therapist for an attitude adjustment because it is you.. not the guy.

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago
  8. * Name (required) says:

    Why do people say their age and then say how they’ve been single almost their entire life span?
    You say you’re 27.
    C’mon! Were you feeling single when you were 2 years old?
    Were you upset about the single life when you were 10 years old?

    I think you should factor in all those years that you were just a child in your calculations. Maybe you’ll feel better.
    I see this so many times on the Internet and it’s so annoying.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 9 months ago
  9. * Name (required) says:

    So I was in the supermarket today. Just to shop. Not looking for pussy.

    This one woman came around the corner while I was engrossed in reading the label of a bag of oatmeal.

    Physically she looked attractive. And men will look. If you can’t accept that, then I don’t know what planet you think you’re on.

    However, I wasn’t ogling her or anything, but I did want to look, see if she had a ring on her finger, checking out how everything fell into place, etc.

    She had her back turned to me. Or so you would think. Everytime I tried to take a casual look she would half-whirl around in some kind of pathetic, paranoid, trying-to-catch-me-looking-at-her judgmental way, though this was all done casually and in the space of less than 3 minutes.

    My question is, what the fuck is it with this kind of stupid paranoia with some women? You work out, dress in hardly any clothes in the summer, cake on the make-up, and then freak out if someone even wants to look at you in a general way, the same way someone might want to look at a nice car or maybe an attractive work of art. (Oh, and for those overly-vain types who just read that last sentence, I was not referring to you when I said “work of art”.)

    Yes, you’re right. Women are assholes.
    They constantly work on their outside appearance, and don’t seem to give a flying fuck about their behaviour, thought processes, attitudes towards others…you’re a joke. Not all of you, but far too many of you.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 9 months ago
  10. * korkord says:

    Reading the posts here is great. The other day while walking home from the V.A. I saw “ASSHOLE” written in pink on the sidewalk. Interestingly, my first thought was, yes, women are assholes too.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 5 months ago
  11. * not says:

    If you’re telling yourself and others that you’re not an asshole, and you’re telling yourself and others that “guys are assholes 100%,” then you’re an asshole.

    | Reply Posted 5 years, 8 months ago
  12. * Dave says:

    Most women are assholes. A small number of them are nice. If you look or try to say hello to most, they seem to be offended when you do this. If you leave them message where social media or phone, they won’t return your message or take forever to return. Most are emotional unstable, get mad for no reason out of the blue. I am a nice guy always polite to both men and women, but most women are the ones that are mean for no reason. I don’t say anything mean to women and think before I say something to women, because I know they are sensitive.

    | Reply Posted 3 years ago
  13. * Tom says:

    The single women I have met online are complete assholes!!!! Theu talk to you than block you like little bitches…FUCK THEM I’m tired of this shit!!!!!!!

    | Reply Posted 2 years, 5 months ago
  14. * Rick says:


    | Reply Posted 1 year, 4 months ago

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