Average Jane

A Call, Unreturned

When the phone rang at 10:23 last night, I didn’t think twice. I answered the unfamiliar number and heard the familiar *click* of a wrong number. I hung up, put down my cell phone and prepared for bed.

The alarm rang at 5:57. My cell phone went off at 6:03. The familiar double dose I need on my early mornings. I opted not to shower, ate my breakfast leisurely, and played around on the internet before getting ready to head to PT. I packed my bag for a morning out and about: Cell phone, iPod, book, keys, wallet… Wallet? Where’s my wallet.

I searched frantically but knew almost immediately what had happened: On my way home from metro, I stopped at the ATM to get cash. $40. I put my wallet back in my bag, not touching it again until I was 30′ from my apartment. I reached around to my bag to get my keys out and heard a *thump*. It felt like something fell out, but upon inspection I didn’t see anything. I walked on. Home. Apparently without my wallet.

I ran out the door to the bush where it fell out. Nothing. I ran back to my apartment, cursing the gods above (and God in particular) for giving me yet another obstacle. Putting up another roadblock. Punishing me for something.

For a moment, I contemplated that missed call. But what if it was a number I should have known? A friend I forgot to save in my phonebook? An ex with a new number?

I went to PT and was in tears lying on the table. A wreck of epic proportions. “Go right home and cancel everything,” she said. That would change my plans for the day, but she was right. I went home and looked to see if any money had moved in any of my accounts. It hadn’t. I opted to postpone the cancelation. In case… in case of a miracle.

After an hour of back and forth (Do I drive to MD to get a duplicate license or apply for a new one in VA? If I drive all the way to MD, I might miss my 2:00 interview, and what if they know I don’t live in MD anymore? If I go to VA to get a new license, will they know my car hasn’t been registered in state? And where will I get the money to pay for any of this?), I settled on getting a VA license. Same price. Closer. And probably more legal.

I got dressed for my interview and headed with documents in hand to the Mall, where apparently they stash the DMV around these parts. Found parking. Harassed by skin care hawker. Found DMV. Denied. “Do you have your driving record from Maryland?” Um. No? “Come back with driving record. NEEEEXT!”

Crestfallen, unable to take one more blow, I walked back to my car, harassed by the same fucking skin care hawker as 10 minutes prior.

When I got in my car, that phone call from the night before haunted me. Going against my own next rules, but hoping to avoid as much “awkward” as possible, I sent the mystery number the following text: “I missed a call from this # last night. Did you happen to find my wallet?” Send. Phone down. *RING RING RING*

“This is Jane.” — “Hello. I found your wallet.” — “I’m on my way.” I was in tears.

Her sister found my wallet while jogging last night. Had I not gone to VA. Had I not forgotten my driving record. Had I not been too lazy to cancel my credit cards… She had it.

I got to her apartment and went to offer her a reward. “I’d like to give you…”

“No no. Really. It’s ok. And there’s no money in there. I asked my sister and she said there was no money.”

So they took my cash. The $40 I had just taken out of the ATM. $6 in singles. Between 9:00 and 10:23 when that saint found my wallet, some lowlife stole $46 and then dropped my life, my wallet, on the ground for a saint to find and return.

And I couldn’t be happier.

Thank you, mystery jogger. Thank you.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Eva says:

    Yeah!!! I am so glad that you found it. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 9 months ago
  2. * Alex says:

    As far as crooks go, I do have a bit of respect for the honest ones. The ones that don’t take your credit card to CVS or McDonalds or the gas station. The ones that will only take your cash. If they mailed it back to you, they’d almost be saints by today’s standards.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 9 months ago
  3. * Spartan says:

    Your story also illustrates to me how we have become servants of the state and local governments. They can make up any rule they like and cause us unending grief while we try to just manage daily affairs.

    Government is not responsive to it’s citizens. It is more like a thousand miniature tyrants.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 9 months ago

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