Average Jane

Don’t Talk to Strangers… Seriously

From the annals of “Why Jane Shouldn’t Talk to Strangers” comes this gem from last week.

I take you to Bethesda, MD. 6:45pm. It’s drizzling as I exit the gym. I open my umbrella narrowly missing a younger-than-middle-aged-gentleman on the sidewalk next to me.

Average Jane: Oh, I’m sorry. I almost hit you..

Guy: It’s OK.

Average Jane: It wouldn’t have been OK if I hit you.

Guy: No. It’s fine.

Average Jane: In this litigious society, you could have sued me for everything I’m worth.

Total Creeper Formerly Known as “Guy”: Yeah. *awkward pause* But I would have gotten your name and address.

Could someone PLEASE install a  mute button or something on me? Maybe a radio-style 7-second delay, perhaps, so someone in an office somewhere can stop me before I do something this retarded? Creepers will always be creepers, but the “I Heart Creepers” stamp I seem to have permanently across my forehead is a bit unnecessary. *sigh*


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Foilwoman says:

    I’m obviously missing something (I like the post). How did that get suddenly totally creepy?

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  2. * Emily says:

    Ha ha! That’s funny. I don’t think you need a mute button. He needs an “creep” filter.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  3. * Brando says:

    Sounded more like a harmless joke than a creepy move–someone told me that George Burns once quipped that the best way to meet a woman is rear-end her car, so at least you have her name and number. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a serious plan.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  4. * sameer says:

    I agree with Foilwoman and Brando, no creep. Maybe just a guy that saw an opening to talk to a young lady.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  5. * Tim says:

    I hope he meant to say “name and number”, but his words stumbled over your charm.

    Like trying to say “How’s it going” and “What’s up” at the same time, only to jumble “How’s up?”

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  6. * Whatever says:

    I will point out that you escalated the conversation with your comment about litigation. You clearly opened the door to such a flirtatious comment.

    He’s no more creepy than you are with your over-apologizing and such. You may discover that ‘creeping out’ over such trifles will be a hindrance to finding a man.

    Really strong independent women don’t have these kind of reflexive junior-high responses to men.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  7. * LiLu says:

    Oh my lord… we are the same person. We should totally be BFFies.


    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago
  8. * Quinn The Eskimo says:

    I wondered what that was on your forehead at your aunt’s last night. Don’t worry. The “I heart creepers” stamp seemed to be fading.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 11 months ago

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