Average Jane

Hope and Change: Pillars that Transcend Politics

“I never said change was going to be easy!”

President Obama echoed these familiar words as he stood before 17,999 supporters and 1 protestor at the University of Maryland yesterday. I had never heard a President speak in person, let alone a President I felt so connected to as a young person and as a Democrat. There was nothing he said that I hadn’t heard before. But on this day, these words rang true.

Forget health care for a moment. Not a long moment, but long enough.

Today marks the start of the Jewish New Year and I am about to start a new life. After the year that I’ve had, 5768 on the Jewish calendar, everything is about to change giving me hope for good things to come. But it hasn’t been easy. It won’t be easy. And I am scared to death.

Change. I am moving to Philadelphia to accept a job with what seems like an amazing, creative company where I’ll get to spread my wings and grow professionally. Moving to a new city will be a challenge in and of itself, but moving, starting a new job, making all new friends, finding an apartment, deciding if I could possible survive as “city mouse,” getting a new license, registering my car… Change. No one ever said it was easy. I have been changing every day for almost as long as I can remember. I try to be better and do better. I lost weight. I was in therapy. I fight my demons. I try to relax. My apartments have been debacle after debacle, one bad choice on top of another. I want so badly to just… be. To stop and enjoy all the changes I’ve made. To learn not to worry about so much and to live my life in the moment instead of imagining the outcomes of my decisions days, years down the line.  I wish I could accomplish all those things. I have hope…

Hope. Having hope is hard. I’m learning that “hope” and “trust” are the same, really. In both, one gives up control. Hope is the trust that things could get better, and hope and trust are things I don’t do. I get let down too easily. As a depressed teenager, I found myself never getting my hopes up about anything, really. Why bother when surely the other shoe would drop, crushing me? Maintaining a flat-line of emotion kept me safe in my cocoon of sullen-girl-anger. But now, as an adult, I need to have hope. I need to feel as though I can trust things can get better and will get better. I have hope that this change, a move for a job that was a year in the making, will bring peace to my life. I will meet new people and find a new home. I will spend more time at Shoprite with my grandmother and eat many more decadent dinners at my aunt’s house. I will be a better me. I hope to. I have to.

I had been working the event on my feet since 5:45 that morning. The chill in my bones from the cool morning rain had finally thawed from the electricity of the crowd. My hunger pangs had been mitigated by the best diet pepsi I’ve ever consumed. My team rallied in preparation for a speech I would never forget.

He was talking about health care reform, one of the many challenges facing our generation. But I heard the message of change and hope that I’ve heard for 3 years now. This time, though, it transcended politics.

Wish me luck.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. My Last 24 Hours in DC « Average Jane pingbacked on 8 years, 9 months ago


  1. * Eva says:

    Preach it sista! 🙂 We will be with you all the way!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  2. * bad penguin says:

    You are going to rock Philly, I just know it! I can’t wait to hear all about how wonderful the new job is and how you are flourishing.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  3. * Jessica:) says:

    Good luck!! You’ll be fantastic, and they’ll be kicking themselves for waiting a whole year to hire you. Shanah tovah u’metukah, wishing you a good and sweet new year of 5770. And also a big hug for my favorite Knish.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  4. * Emily says:

    Good luck, Jane! I moved to NYC from Dallas two years ago for a new, promising job, and while everything wasn’t exactly smooth sailing, I’m starting to live for the moment and enjoy what the city has to offer, which is plentiful! Life is constant change and of course, it’s not easy. But I think you are embracing this new challenge with a great attitude, and I encourage you to keep writing and sharing your unique perspective and experiences.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  5. Good luck with all of your new adventures, please know that this city will be less interesting without you.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago

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