Average Jane



“It’s Complicated”

We really thought this was the one. Naturally by “we” I mean “me.” She didn’t think quite so much of the prospect.

In town for the weekend, B and I got our dinner, went to our spot, sat in our seats, and had our drinks poured before we even found the purse hooks. A slow night at first, things picked up when Thumb Ring called out to me from across the bar. B was in the bathroom and rendering me defenseless. I had resolved to be softer, more… open to talking to the quality gentlemen who typically frequent the establishment.

Tired of yelling at the back of my head as I crained to watch the tennis rather than engage in awkward conversation, he came around the bar just as B came back to my rescue. We chatted. He’s from Columbus. B invited him to be my date to a wedding (spoiler: which he didn’t forget when he texted me the next three days in a row). And then we called over his friend.

He wasn’t a douche. He was nice, employed, and modestly attractive. He wasn’t wearing salmon shorts, nor was he a sex-obsessed chef. No sunglasses inside or boat shoes… this was a veritable winner. And look at that – he and B clicked.

After a game of darts and a round of shots, he asked for her number. She obliged. Not a miracle given our past escapades, but a good feeling at the end of a long night. The night went on – game of pool, broken up bar fight – and then it was time to go home. He and Thumb Ring walked us to metro, texting us from the other platform as we jumped on our train and pulled out of the station.

B, to her word, texted him with some potential plans, and he responded in kind… took his good ole time to do it, but did it. Win! Win! Win!

And then, she got a call. And answered.

“I’m in an ‘it’s complicated’ relationship so i’m not looking to date you but i want to hang out and be friends.”

I say, Kudos, ole boy. Not only did you actually pick up a phone, you were both honest AND culturally relevant! The image of a grown man using Facebook jargon over to the phone to tell a girl he just wanted to be friends kind of captures every story line of  “He’s just not that into you” in one simple phone call.  And I say, yet another win! Having a cute lawyer guy friend is the holy grail – the “in” to more cute lawyer guys. He is a stepping stone to greatness. He is kind of perfect!

As B said, “He’s my BFF Chad!”

She go girl!

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