Average Jane

“Crotch Ambrosia” – Oh, Ladies… He’s back!

Full disclosure: I didn’t read it. I couldn’t. But I’m dying to know what wisdom he had to drop on my ass. I’ll give a fake dollar and a big e-shout out to the most creative synopsis of the commented response to this blog post… and this one.

You are only fascinated because I speak the truth. Women are smart. Women can run businesses. But to give you significant economic power when you are at your most fertile is completely detrimental and destructive to the very core of society. When it comes to sex women are baby-like in their thinking. They are feckless and impatient and willing to passively abandon everything that doesn’t meet their standards as long as poverty is not an obvious threat. When you see someone that you want, you become “present-oriented” like a toddler wishing a cookie right now. You, like your sisters, respond to emotional cues rather than reason and will play a game with your very fertility in order to indulge in Kate Gosselin posturing until the wrinkles set in.

This is a sickness. This is why men are angry. You are attempting to take everything without giving anything back but your whiny presence in return. Believe it or not you can have all the corny jobs, toilet paper degrees and chipmunk dogs you like without protest from males:  give us hot sex on demand. Women who deem themselves porn stars get more out of life nowadays than the modern preening female. Even though most porn girls are golddiggers at least they offer their bodies to encourage the men. And at least they have an identifiable goal when looking for men; something to give males a proxy to achieve to get their attention. They’re only despised by men because they ask for more payment than what was really earned (A whole house for a couple cave dives in the butt? c’mon). It is a sad state of affairs when the modern golddigger is more respectable than the cretin known as – the status whore. These trophy purses collect men like makeup mirrors and toss them like crumpled energy
bar wrappers. They go after the next big thrill, but what exactly even they aren’t sure of. They’re often pursuing their dreams or challenging mole hills. Obvious to all but them that the course they traverse is free of hazard, cleared by the males before her and easy as pie for the average boy, much less the soul searching Milf. They don’t know what they really want and thus say nothing of direction to the males around them often leaving it up to fate or destiny for the “perfect” guy to come along. Freed from being pinned down by male sexual demands indecision or at least listlessness rules their lives. The absolute freedoms that come from easy living has allowed legions of these females to climb male mountains looking for an at the top only to meet blue sky. Unlike a male who would be satisfied climbing a mountain of females, knowing that he is accepted as an important component to the civilization and validated by the women beneath him for his hard work, the woman who climbs the
to the top can only reflect on the situation with a complaint of “Where have all the good men gone?” The answer is she’s stepping on them.

As long as you provide hot sex you can start a feminist moon landing for all we care. Got it? You think guys like having to go to work? To go fat and bald doing the same routines everyday. Shyt, that’s women’s work! For you moderately attractive females work is like a vacation. It’s just “down time” between meeting the next bartender on Fri night. The only downside is having to deny the advances of the schlubs at the office you’re too good for. For years women worked jobs and went to school and men tolerated it because a) it often took care of the soft jobs and b) a guy with a paycheck could buy a wife and a hooker. Nowadays all but the most grueling minimum wage jobs are pre-selected for middle class white chicks. Which means fewer jobs for young males and more money in the hands of girls, who use it to restrict themselves to only a scant few studs. And these lovely females are just drifting into the role without one iota of gratitude or perspective. These overinflated snobs don’t
realize that they’re really born to become lunch meat for the males, much like their grandmothers were. It’s where the term Coal Miner’s Daughter came from. It described a girl from a blue collar home who often had a series of boyfriends then a bunch of kids by age 19. In the modern age birth control has simply removed the kids. As larger and larger pools of females escape their place as shadows of males due to unearned placement in society these gratuities mask a darker truth. The women worm their way out of the submissive role of accepting sperm. They often do it so long as to not realize the devastation it has wrought. They have flipped the power dynamic in society and everyone hates it. Now most guys must resign themselves with video games, movies and porn since they can’t get an adequate female in their lives. And realize most guys will not settle on an inferior fat chick or scrubby ethnic chick who barely approximates a human being. No they demand what is considered “normal”
and additionally they demand a female that advances his status with other females of similar caliber. Plump girls are an embarrassment. This makes it all the more crucial for girls with high looks to spread their attention around. On top of that females in general seemed to have separated themselves into two camps fat vs. non-fat. The indulgences of freedom working on the population of females like two sides of a coin. One camp of females seeing it as a chance to excel and make themselves more prominent for the millionaire males. The other side succumbing to sloth as the bare minimum threshold of males is raised.

Nowadays even marginally attractive females have the beck and call of the whole society. I’m betting that you and your friends who are 6+ in looks feel no fear of losing jobs, or lacking a date saturday night or inciting the rage of a man who you’ve tempted. These are consequences that males must endure all the time. You have it easy womb-man. This is because the supply of desperate males is never-ending and thus you have a perpetual safety net that allows you to pine like a fool for guys you don’t even know. This is your hypergamy in action. Your female psychology is designed to pick up signals of the dominant or Alpha male in your presence. These cues are subliminal and you respond to them automatically. However, what is also reality is that the keeper of the Alpha title is always changing and nature has designed the female to register when the status of one man begins to overtake that of another, this even includes the males the female is courting at the moment.

Now this is all fine and good for isolated, tribal caravans on the African Savannah, the men are not likely to change status so quickly. But in a major metropolis or a packed college town males float in and out of the Alpha title so often that the females remain in a constant state of pursuit. Their pickiness becomes elevated to newer and often unrealistic heights as the options widen like never before. Then television and rom-com crap feeds her expectation of snagging the elusive rogue with a swimmer’s body and HBO quality conversational skills. Often she will stick to a few trustworthy bastions of maleness, like the hockey team, in order to avoid choosing a weakling by mistake. Now combine that with modern birth control and the fact that most women when they do settle on one male for a few months instinctively feel something is incompatible if she doesn’t get pregnant. The dance to spinsterhood goes on.

This is why the decision-making power over your mate choice traditionally was guided by society. They, you, suffer from delayed adolescence. This excessive narcissism is erasing reality from your minds as your best years get frittered away pretending you’re Rachel Ray. You can see this in marriage. Marriage used to be a way to guarantee a guy lots of sex and a couple babies. Marriage now has become a silly symbol of a woman’s ability to tie a guy down. This is simply because women get so much out of it due to lopsided courts and also because female narcissism has created such a pent up demand for sex that even a divorcee with 3 kids can grab a desperate hubby on the fly. Little does the dude know that subconsciously the woman does not respect a male that succumbs to her wishes and she’ll dream of fu#$ing the devil when he’s not around. It’s a feminized bear trap.

The answer to many of these woes is to make prostitution legal. But that and more. They must make going to prostitutes a symbol of pride again instead of shame. It was this way in the Old West. For some reason during the 40’s it became really shameful for men to visit them. I think it had to do with WWII honestly, there were so many single American women compared to the returning soldiers that it would be embarrassing not to just get a docile wife.

Anyway with prostitution legalized marriage would stabilize a little. This way husbands would feel no qualms in inviting his mistress over to bang her after the wifey’s birthday party. However we need to go one step further to target the real prize: nubile, young, middle class white chicks with a chip on their shoulder. The solution is this:

We need to forbid companies from hiring females between the ages of 18 and 35 without steep fines.

As horrible as it may sound the proposal makes a lot of sense. Only the truly gifted and intelligent females will escape the clause since they will be pulled in for things like cancer research and mathematics. Make no mistake this way the smart ones in your group will really stand out and the others will no longer be able to hide behind pom-pom degrees in business and liberal arts. No the majority of girls will be forced to earn their place in the world. Truly earn. They will (finally!) be pressed into using the full blossom of their fertility by becoming world class prostitutes!

This would also delay all the unimportant things a girl wants to do, like traveling (blah!) until after 35 when she’s mostly worthless to the Western male except as a nanny. Just think the female will have earned her dues and if she wants could study all day, drink wine, look at sunsets, dance in supermarkets and go shack up with some desperate third world guy all she wants. You can do it all you like, after you’ve hit the wall.*

*Special exceptions will apply to women who still look good at 35, they will be given allowances to have female babies (males will be aborted) so that more females will be raised that are better preserved, prettier, for longer periods of time.

See under this law prostitution will be the most obvious and encouraged role for a girl. This would make the Western world in so many words… fantastic!!!

Forcing women at their most fertile into sex workers will finally balance the equation and truly make America the land of kings. I’d imagine that women would price themselves according to their exclusiveness. The more beautiful and classically Coca-Cola the girl the more she can charge her services. Although expensive this gives even the most neandertal-like hoodrat a chance at getting some time with Buffy the vampire blonde if he keeps at a 9 to 5 job. No more stalkers. No more obsessions. All the beautiful women would be attainable… by law.

Women too can form businesses and do whatever they want with the proceeds from the money. They just cannot hire 18-35 year old females as employees. This also means no volunteers, since this would mean hiring them at $0. Women would only be allowed to work as self-employed contractors. So women could form a bordello, write a book, become a celebrity, become a webmaster, a chef etc. all that is different is that there will be no more entry level jobs with corporations, no more non-profit bull$hit either domestically or in foreign countries and no more student loans for females under 35. In short most women would become moderately wealthy sex workers controlled by the government. It will be a fu%#ing paradise!

Girls at this age can also auction off the right to have a baby with a high paying man. So instead of marriage which is too binding for our sexually ephemeral tastes instead the males pay huge sums to their ideal women for the right to impregnate and possibly protect mother and child from the trick life. Under this system men will be encouraged to protect the mother and children with his paycheck. The status coming from being able to afford the prettiest of the prostitutes.

Additionally the girl will realize the true market value of her looks and give frustrated guys an attainable measure in order to get with her. This system will make school shootings a thing of the past, since most guys will have a girlfriend to look forward to once they enter the working world. This means you females better be ready to accept short guys, fat guys, bald guys, black guys, handicapped guys and every other stripe of guy that currently doesn’t meet your ideal. As long as they meet the price and are not contagious you have to receive them! You may not like it, but who cares! You spoiled it for yourselves already by wagging your rumps in the faces of desperate men for too long.The pleasures you offer are the center of the universe and they must be shared. And if you’re attractive, sorry hot chick, you had it coming for a long time!!

The girl will finally earn her way to the place in life that she wants while the men will respect their end of the deal to build new products and services. It is a fair exchange of principles.  And the men will truly respect money and hard work again. On top of that with all of these soft jobs now vacant there will be plenty of jobs available for wayward unemployed men. If you thought the dollar was losing value you just wait until this gets implemented!

STDs and such will all be monitored using an Internet system of checks and balances. Women will get testing done for all the major diseases, herpes, AIDS etc. and placed in a database along with men. Men who wish to see an 18 to 35 year old must then also get tested. Anyone who is caught lying will be pulled into court and ordered to pay restitution to clients that got illnesses – maybe even lifetime restitution for irreversible viruses. It would be the new version of alimony payments.

Sexuality is happiest when the men make up the rules for sex, the attractive women oblige and the less attractive women raise the offspring. Women already comply with a hot guy’s demand for sex, often performing porno moves for the guy in order to get his attention. Why can’t all guys get that? This way the average guy can get that lifestyle, not just good ol’ Brad Pitt.

What’s wonderful about this situation is that it grounds the female’s expectations in reality. Reality. Not this flailing in the wind waiting forever for some pre-ordained socially sanctioned bs non-existent boyfriend while her male counterparts are left abandoned and emasculated. Right now the country is imbalanced and prone to revolution. Take a look at the Pick Up Artist community (although I know you won’t) These arrogant men only started picking apart women because they became harder to pin down for casual, life affirming sex. As you females make it harder to get the best sex on earth the more and more men will resent the opportunities given to you. Like a necklace gift given to a friend who doesn’t acknowledge it while snapping it around their neck, attractive women have taken the spoils we offered without acknowledging that we desire sex back as recompense. This is as hurtful and as bewildering as it sounds.

If you totally take for granted the advantages we give you – and trust me the world is designed by men – then we will have little choice but to take them away from you again. Attractive women must embrace their submissiveness or we will compel her to it by force.

And that is why I have this little blog – so other people can spend hours and hours responding to innocuous posts I wrote years ago about a subject neither I, nor most of my readers, really care about. God Bless America, bitches!


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  1. * amanda says:

    I don’t have it in me to read this in its entirety yet, but just wanted to respond to the first paragraph. Babies by their very nature want only what will serve them and make them feel better in the moment. Their focus is on immediate comfort. Right off the bat, he has completely contradicted himself by saying that we are baby-like in how we view sex. If we were actually baby-like, we would be what he wants and give it up to every ugly or mediocre guy that stumbled across our path like we supposedly ought to. And just so we’re clear, “reason” according to Crotch Ambrosia isn’t actually about making good decisions for our lives, but about our role in the biological imperative? Yes?

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 2 months ago
  2. * Her Rabid Glow says:

    What. A. Catch.

    Gosh, I can’t imagine why he has such a hard time finding a woman that wants to be with him. I had no idea that having a vagina reduces me to being little more than a condom. What an ‘aha’ moment.

    I wouldn’t give this asshole woman-hater another moment of time or energy. He’s loving this. Next time he writes, ignore him. This type of hatred and bile shouldn’t be given a voice.

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 2 months ago
  3. * amanda says:

    I agree. I think it’s about time to restrict/mediate comments. He isn’t worth it.

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 2 months ago

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