Average Jane

Jane’s New Rule of Dating

New Rule: Assume all men I ever meet have girlfriends. Every last one of them. Why? Because they do. And they don’t wear signs, or rings, or have rays of light shining out of their asses to let me know not to bother.

Why the new rule? So glad you asked.

After attending a fun party with new friends, Rebekkah and I headed to a local bar. It’s a trendy, upscale bar and it was nice to be around age appropriate men in this part of town. We grabbed a glass of wine and started chatting when a guy in a Reddit shirt and hoodie walk in. Picture-fucking-perfect. His beard was hipster length, his pants were hipster tight, his attitude was hipster cool… but clearly he had a job. Win, win, win, win. I was probably the only girl in the bar who knew what Reddit was, or cared to know, so I thought this was a fool proof in to say “hello.” We made our way to where he was standing at the bar, waited until he looked disengaged enough from the conversation and I went over with my prepared remarks in mind.

Everything went as planned (first time ever). He was impressed, we chatted about all things “geek” for about half an hour, and then it was time to go. He looked at me, his phone in hand. The moment of truth arrived – interested or uninterested, would he get my number? “So, Jane. I’m in love with a girl back in Reno. But, ya know, if you are just looking for a good time…”

Was he serious?! “Are you serious?!”

No, I’m not looking for a good time I tell him. And I am sure the girl in Reno would be thrilled to know that he was biding his time by fucking other women. That usually endears a woman. But thank you, because most guys would just take my number and never call. (Yes, I told him as much.)

It was jarring. But I deserved it. Or it felt like I deserved it. I took another chance. I went out on that thin limb to give it a shot, even after promising I wouldn’t again. Not after the last time, whatever the last time was. Whenever it was. No matter the result.

It was my fault.

Hence the new rule.

What are some other rules of dating to follow?


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Katherine says:

    I assume they’re married and then we both end up hurt, so after that last disaster, I am going to assume everyone is a single engineer who goes hiking. (Because they’re all engineers at my bars, and they all hike, so they’re too smart and athletic anyway! Hahaha.)

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 4 months ago
  2. * terra says:

    What is wrong with these guys?! He’s in love with a girl in Reno, but… There shouldn’t be a but. Boys are dumb.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 4 months ago
  3. * Heather says:

    Yes, this is a smart rule. Sad, but true. Usually I figure if I like them, they are married or involved. Doesn’t bode well for meeting someone.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 4 months ago

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