Average Jane


He married a non-Jew. She converted after they got married. He is a cantor. She is single, practicing, Conservative.  His dad is Jewish, mom is not. She’s Orthodox and won’t get married; won’t have kids. She feels like she was always meant to be Jewish and now is. He’s here without his non-Jewish wife. He left his Jewish wife at home. We were talking. The group of us. A minyan of thinkers. 

She asked the question: Why are Jewish men marrying non-Jewish women at such an alarming rate? Is it the media portrayal of Jewish women as nagging, zaftig, overbearing, disheveled, baby-craving neurotics? 

He answered, attractive, successful, Jewish — his now-Jewish wife sitting next to him: I love Jewish women. I always imagined myself marrying someone who looked, acted and sounded just like my mom. But the truth is, sometimes who you fall in love is just surprising. 

They looked at each other. I looked at him. I wanted to cry. But I smiled instead. 


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  1. * Angeline says:

    I found this very confusing. Think I was getting people mixed up. Enjoyed the sentiment though.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 4 months ago
    • * Average Jane says:

      I felt the confusion represented that this conversation could happen between anyone. Everyone. That this is a topic that many people can relate to.

      Although it may not have worked 🙂

      | Reply Posted 6 years, 4 months ago
  2. * terra says:

    It’s true, too. Sometimes who you fall in love with, the person who makes things better and alive and good, does not meet the list of requirements we all carry around with us. Love does what it wants. It’s a honey badger that way.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 4 months ago
  3. * Chris D says:

    What? Huh? Who cares if he’s Jewish, who cares if you are, who cares whoever he dates is or isn’t. Fuck, can’t we all just move on from giving a shit about religion and just focus in if the person is hot or not.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 4 months ago
  4. * Yarmi Boy says:

    I’m a single (observant) Orthodox Jew, actually a member of the tribe of Levi. Like Moses and all the other Levites, we have trouble managing our passion. Like Moses, I find myself becoming attracted to goyish women. It feels like they are attracted to me. There is a woman I’ve been collegial with for a decade, I know she likes me and I consider her one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met, on the other hand, I’ve been searching for a Jewish woman for a couple of years and not yet found one who likes me. What do I do?

    | Reply Posted 5 years, 3 months ago

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