Average Jane

Adventures in “dating” with no intention of getting laid

Nine months in, my stint in Philadelphia has left me two things: 1) more financially secure, b) very, very single.

I should state that the former has absolutely no effect on the other. And while in DC I’d say, “The dudes in DC are threatened by a successful woman!” here in Philadelphia I’d say… nothing! See,  I wouldn’t know because I CAN’T MEET A DUDE TO SAVE MY LIFE.

Enter new dating strategy:  Not dating.

One of my “besties” came to town last weekend for what was to be an epic weekend on the town. Mission accomplished. I picked up a bunch of dudes, a few chicks, plus one very hot prospect from my absolute favorite new shitshow OKCupid. The best part is, I don’t have to shave my legs for ANY of them! (Let the record show that said “bestie” actually met a dude she would have to shave her legs for. Refuse. To. Be. Bitter.)

This weekend I was friend collecting, using the “I’m new around here” line until it fell out of my mouth effortlessly. My smarter-than-a-cell-phone extracted from my purse without thought as I plugged in numbers, sent “this is me!” texts, and tweeted fellow Twitter-ers. It wasn’t about getting laid, it was about getting connected. In the non-getting laid way? It was easy. I was confident.

And I will most likely never hear from any of them.


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  1. * J.R. says:

    Why would you feel that you will never hear from them again?

    I know when I’ve tried to meet people I used the line, “I like you! Do you have room in your life for a new friend?” It usually got a laugh and an exchange of information, then I followed up with trying to set up plans as soon as possible otherwise they never seemed to materialize.

    I did this like 4 times over the summer and it had a 50% success rate and it all came down to setting up a time to get together as soon as possible. The reason it didn’t work the other two times because the first time I never tried to push it forward, and the second time bc I canceled and we could never get together.

    Do tell me how it works out.

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 8 months ago
  2. * dc guide says:

    I am writing to ask for your permission to include your posts on
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    Mike Thomas

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 8 months ago

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