Missing.

Dear Professor,

I miss you. I miss my sleepless nights spent waking and checking my phone to see if you’d written. I miss the awkward phone conversations we had because you used words I didn’t know but was too afraid to ask you to define. I miss the longing I felt hours after you promised you’d call but didn’t. I miss the dismissive grins you flashed when I talked about pop culture and music when you couldn’t have cared less. I miss never knowing which “you” would take me home after the 3rd round of drinks. I miss trying to appease you, impress you, keep you interested.

I missed you the minute I walked out after our fight, but missed you more when I saw you the next morning. I missed you when you left for your trip and have missed you every day that you’ve been back and out of touch. I missed you when I called and my call when straight to voicemail.

I miss you every time I go on Facebook and see you’re there, every time I check your page and see you haven’t posted anything.

I miss me. I miss the me that didn’t care. I miss the time I wasted telling everyone important to me how important you were to me. I miss the piece of my heart that I gave to you.

And I want it all back.

Love,

Jane

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